


The Babyvengers

by Feels_Like_Fearless



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Annoying Kids, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Baby Avengers, Baby Black Panther, Baby Black Widow, Baby Captain America - Freeform, Baby Falcon, Baby Hawkeye, Baby Iron Man, Baby Scarlet Witch, Baby Thor, Baby War Machine, Baby Winter Soldier, Baby hulk, Cute Kids, Darcy Gets A Taste Of Parenthood, EVERYTHING FEELS, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Frustrated Marvel Ladies, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Marvel Villains Feeling Guilty, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Parent Pepper Potts, Peggy Is Confused But Still Awesome, Protective Jane Foster, Shuri Is So Evil, Steve And Bucky Are Inseparable, Superfamily (Marvel), baby Loki, everybody needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2019-09-27 12:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17161949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feels_Like_Fearless/pseuds/Feels_Like_Fearless
Summary: This is not what anyone bargained for.Pepper, Jane, Darcy, and Shuri are suddenly swept into early parenthood when twelve superheroes (and one villain) are mysteriously transformed into babies of varying ages, personalities, and superpowers! With the help of a freshly-brought-through-a-portal-from-the-40's Peggy Carter, the girls turn Avengers Tower into the world's most awesome nursery and buckle up for the ride of their lives. And it only gets crazier- pink tutus, Sharpie markers, trips to the doctor (a strangely familiar face), visits from villains, superpowers gone rogue, and a web-slinging babysitter are only part of the adventures in store for the gang as they try to handle twelve Babyvengers.





	1. The Surprise of Their Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Welcome to Babyvengers! 
> 
> This story has been dancing around my head since I watched the Avengers for the first time. I LOVE kidfics, and there is a sad lack of baby Avengers fanfiction. So, I've made my own. 
> 
> A few things:
> 
> I will post extra tags and notes at the beginning of each chapter except the first one. Also, I may sometimes post chapters that have nothing to do with the story's overall plot, like a Christmas special or a Fourth of July chapter. These will be marked as such. 
> 
> There will be no cussing, smut, or homosexuality in ANY of my fics, not just this one. If that makes you unhappy:  
> 1\. Sorry.  
> 2\. Deal with it.
> 
> And one more thing. The babies are all different ages. None of them are the same age, and the ages are in two month intervals (reason for this will be explained as the story progresses.) There isn't REALLY any rhyme or reason to why each baby is whatever age I made them, I just thought that it would work best for the story.  
> Thanks for reading! Kudos is wonderful, and (honest) comments make my day! Enjoy the adventures of the Babyvengers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone call at one in the morning brings Shuri to New York City to help Pepper with a...sticky situation.

Shuri banged a hand down on her phone. "Shut  _up,_ " she ordered groggily. "It's too early."

She buried her face in her pillows again, burrowing into the covers and letting her mind drift into sleep.

_Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz._

Shuri groaned, rolled over, and felt around her nightstand for her phone.  _If it's Peter, I'm going to kill him._

It was Pepper. Shuri sat up. Pepper wouldn't call in the middle of the night unless something was wrong. She pressed the 'Answer' button and held it to her ear.

"Shuri!" Pepper's voice was frantic. "You need to come to New York City right now! I don't know what to do! There's a weird white portal thing in the living room and I'm scared to go near it in case I get sucked into an alternate dimension and all the Avengers are missing and I've called Tony eleven times and he won't answer and your brother is missing too and how fast can you hop a jet and get out here because I need some HELP!" 

Shuri jumped out of bed and promptly tripped over a suitcase. "Owww!" She gave the suitcase a kick, realized that she needed it, and threw it on the bed.

"Shuri?" Pepper sounded concerned. "Are you OK?"

"Yes," Shuri answered. "I fell."

She started flinging clothes into the suitcase. "I can be there in three hours," she told Pepper. "Can you hold out till then?"

Pepper drew in her breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah, I'll call Jane. She's in town on business right now. But hurry!" 

_Click._

Shuri stared at her phone.  _T'Challa missing?_

Her gut twisted. She hoped he wasn't hurt. She didn't know what she'd do without her brother.

Shuri shoved more clothes in her suitcase, taking a moment to twist her bead bracelet onto her wrist, just in case. She hoped she had stuffed in at least one complete outfit. _Outfit_! Shuri stared down at her nightgown. No way in heck she was walking into Avengers Tower in that.

She got up, found a short tunic dress and leggings, and slipped into the bathroom to change.Worry tickled the back of her mind. _Is T'Challa all right?_

Shuri quickly brushed her teeth and made sure her hair looked decent. She pushed various pieces of technology into her suitcase.  _Hey, I might need....synthetic lava...in New York City._ She left that one out.

* * *

Jane grabbed her phone before it vibrated itself off the table. She picked it up and held it to her ear. "Hello, this is Jane Foster."

"Jane?" She recognized the voice of Pepper Potts. She sounded upset. 

"Pepper? Are you OK?"

"Uh, not totally," Pepper replied. "There's a swirling white portal in the living room. And all the Avengers are missing."

"All of the Avengers? Even Thor and Captain America?"

"Yeah, they're just gone! Natasha, Sam, even Rhodey...and Tony."

Jane heard the worry in her friend's tone. "What exactly happened, and when?" she asked. 

Pepper exhaled slowly. "I came to the Tower at about seven to talk some Stark Industries stuff over with Tony. We didn't get done till about nine, and he suggested that I just stay over. At about twelve, I heard a crash, and the whole building shook. And all of the Avengers were gone, and there was a glowy, white portal thing in the middle of the living room!" She sighed. "It ate my favorite shoes."

Jane did her best to process all this information. "Was there any sign of a struggle? A fight? Anything at all?"

"No," Pepper said. "It was like aliens abducted them or something. Like the ones from two years ago. Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Thor brought his brother over, the one who tried to invade New York City, and now he's missing, too!"

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Really? So...how come you're not missing?"

"I don't know!" Pepper sounded close to tears. "This portal thing is sending out sparks, and I called Shuri, but she can't get here for three hours, and I told Happy to go back to the mansion, and- and I'm here by myself, and I'm getting really scared!"

Jane stood up and went to the counter, grabbing her car keys. "Should I come over?"

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that!" Pepper said quickly. She sucked in a shaky breath. "Yeah."

"OK, give me twenty minutes," Jane said. She shifted the phone to her other shoulder. "Oh, and Darcy's here too. Girl's night. Can she tag along?" 

"Sure," Pepper replied. "Hurry, Jane." She hung up. 

Jane stared at the phone, trying to make sense of the whole thing. 

"What happened?" Darcy asked, yawning. 

"We gotta go to Avengers Tower," Jane said. 

Darcy's eyes widened. "Really? Cool!"

"Not quite as cool as you think," Pepper replied. She quickly filled Darcy in.

"Whoa, so all the Avengers are just... _poof..._ gone? Like in  _Star Trek?_ They got beamed up?" Darcy seemed a bit over-excited about the world's most powerful team vanishing. She followed Jane out of the hotel room, sliding into the passenger seat of Jane's car. 

"Pepper doesn't know," Jane said. "But we need to get over there before she freaks out any more." She put the keys in the ignition and buckled her seatbelt.

"Wait!" Darcy yelped. She leapt from her seat and dashed into the building, coming back a few minutes later. 

"What's that?" Jane asked curiously, noticing something shiny in Darcy's hand. 

Darcy opened her fist to reveal her taser. "Just in case any Klingons show up."

* * *

Pepper stared at the phone in her hand.  _Please hurry, Jane._

She curled up on one of the bar stools, nervously watching the slowly spinning portal in the middle of the living room. It had begun throwing out sparks about ten minutes ago, although nothing had caught fire. 

_Snap. Crackle. Pop._

"Shut up!" Pepper told the portal. "You sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies." Frustration was slowly replacing her fear. 

The portal grumpily tossed a couple sparks onto the rug, but it quieted down. 

"JARVIS?" Pepper asked the ceiling. The AI was silent. Pepper sighed, pulling her feet up onto the stool.  _Not even JARVIS? What happened?_ She wanted to know why the portal was in the living room of Avengers Tower, and how to get it out. She wanted Jane or Darcy to come over. She wanted JARVIS to come back online. She wanted...she wanted...

_I want Tony._

She would never have admitted it to the cocky billionaire, but she felt safer when he was around. His Iron Man alter-ego annoyed her sometimes, but it also protected her. Despite his many faults, Tony would go the ends of the earth and beyond for her, and she knew it. 

_So where are you?_

A knock sounded at the door. Pepper leaped up, racing over to it and throwing it open. 

Jane Foster stood there, Darcy craning her neck to look over the scientist's shoulder. Jane had a briefcase of who-knew-what in one hand and a smile on her face.

"Hey, Pepper. Any updates?"

"It's sparking a little, but nothing's on fire," Pepper replied. "Come on in." Jane's calm, easy demeanor relieved Pepper immediately. 

Darcy pushed past Jane, looking around in awe. "I'm actually  _in_ Avengers Tower!" she squealed. "This is  _awesome!_ "

Loud sizzling suddenly broke out. Darcy yelped and jumped away from the portal.

"W-what's going on?" she asked, her voice quivering slightly. 

Jane set her briefcase down on the bar and opened it. "Trying to figure that out, Darcy," she said. "Boy, I wish Erik were here."

A crackling voice made all three women jump. _"Hello, Miss Potts."_

"JARVIS!" Pepper exclaimed happily. "You're back!"

_"My systems are now fully functional."_

"That's a relief."

_"I see Miss Lewis and Miss Foster are with you."_

"Yes, they're trying to help me figure out what the heck happened here. Do you have a recording or something?"

_"I am afraid that my systems do not show any recordings past two hours ago. My recording feature has somehow been stopped for that period of time."_

Pepper slumped against the counter. "Rats. That means we've got no way to figure out who might have done this and how."

_"Pardon me, Miss Potts,"_ JARVIS interrupted, _"but someone is at the door."_

"Shuri!" Jane and Pepper said together. 

"Who's Shuri?" Darcy asked. 

"Princess of Wakanda," Jane replied as Pepper answered the door.

Darcy blinked. "Wait,  _what?_ "

"Hi, Jane!" Shuri's heavily accented voice rang out. The young princess wrapped Jane in a hug. 

"You said three hours, Shuri," Pepper teased. "It's only been an hour and forty-five minutes."

Shuri shrugged. "So, I nearly halved the time. Just proves how good my technology is. The jet flew itself."

Darcy's mouth fell open.

"Who is this?" Shuri asked, smiling at her.

"Oh, this is Darcy," Jane said, leading the girl toward Shuri. "She's my...friend? Assistant? Intern? All three?"

Shuri laughed and gave Darcy a hug. "Nice to meet you, Darcy," she said. 

"Uh, you too, Princess Shuri," Darcy answered uncertainly.

"Just Shuri is fine," Shuri told her, flashing her teeth in a wide grin. "I'm not into the whole "princess" thing. I leave that to T'Challa." 

She dropped her suitcase down next to the door. "So, weird portal thi- holy cow." The princess stared at the swirling, snapping white portal, muttering something in another language.

"Yeah," Pepper said. "Apparently it can throw sparks and suck small objects into it, because my Converse All-Stars are in some other dimension now." 

Shuri frowned. "I can try to work something out, but I'm better with technology than weird, magic...whatever that is."

"That's why I'm here," Jane explained. "I'll figure out what I can about this thing- if it even is magical."

JARVIS crackled to life above them. _"Miss Potts, my reading mechanisms were damaged during whatever event caused the portal you all have been discussing. However, my systems have repaired somewhat, and I am reading that Mr. Stark is on the fifth floor, in the lounge."_

Pepper jumped up. "Tony's OK?" She made a beeline for the door, the others trailing after her. 

 

 


	2. Are You Kidding Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls find a few of the missing Avengers...but not in the way they expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, OK, so I haven't updated in FOREVER! I am so sorry, I got distracted, and then I got writer's block, and then- confession time: I forgot about this story.
> 
> Gasp! I know, I know, how could I forget about my adorable widdle Avengers? Blame Infinity War. Still not over it. Also, SPOILER ALERT! I do have plans for Thanos to show up later, so we can all hate on him together! 
> 
> Okay, with no further pointless rambling, I present the long-awaited and much-overdue second chapter of The Babyvengers! Enjoy! Kudos and comments are appreciated.

Pepper pounded up the staircases and through the many rooms of Avengers Tower. "Tony?" she yelled. "Tony!"

"Pepper, wait up!" Jane called. "Slow...(pant)...down!"

Pepper raced into the fifth floor lounge. "Tony!" she hollered, searching the room. "Tony, are you in here?!" 

Darcy yelped as a whirring, clanking noise suddenly filled the room. She jumped behind Jane. "W-what is that?" 

"That's just DUM-E," Pepper said as the robot rolled out into the middle of the room, bumped into the couch, scooted back, and did the exact same thing again. 

Shuri raised her eyebrows. "He is well named."

"Tony's idea," Pepper informed them. "Not his best programming."

_Crash!_

Everyone jumped at the sound of breaking glass. DUM-E zoomed forward, only hitting one armchair on the way, and activated a flamethrower. The girls heard a _whooshing_ noise as the flames blasted forward, presumably not too accurately.

A second later, they heard a completely different- and unexpected- sound. 

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"Oh, my gosh!" Darcy yelped. "It's a baby! There's a baby in here!"

"DUM-E, shut off the flamethrower, you idiot robot!" Pepper screamed.

The robot obeyed, beeping sullenly. Pepper dashed forward, looked behind the table, and reached down.

"Aww," she cooed, reappearing with a wailing little boy wearing a tiny, black T-shirt and jeans in her arms. "Poor little thing, where'd you come from?"

The child's sobs turned to sniffles, and he grabbed for Pepper's long, strawberry-blonde hair. 

Jane grinned. "He's so cute!" she gushed. "Look at those eyes!" She ruffled the baby's chocolate brown hair. He giggled and leaned into Pepper's shoulder.

"Yeah, he's adorable," Pepper said. "But how'd a little kid get into Stark Tower?"

JARVIS crackled to life above them. _"I see you have located Mr. Stark."_

Pepper sighed. "Unfortunately, no," she said. "We did find a cute little kid, though."

The little boy waved at the ceiling, laughing at the invisible voice.

" _I...I'm hesitant to say this, Miss Potts, JARVIS said, but my scans indicate that you, your friends, and Mr. Stark are the only ones in the room."_

Silence dropped over the women. 

Pepper stared at the wiggling baby in her arms. "Are...do you mean...is this  _Tony?!"_

_"I am afraid so, Miss Potts. According to my scans, Mr. Stark is currently twenty-two months old."_

Pepper passed the baby- Tony- off to Shuri and sat down heavily on the couch. "Tony Stark...my boss...my _boyfriend_...is a kid?"

"Pep!" Tony shouted, squirming out of Shuri's hands and crawling over to Pepper. "Pep, pway!"

Jane leaned down and grabbed Tony around the waist. "Let's give Pepper some space right now, okay, bud?"

Tony pouted, crossing his arms and sticking his lower lip out. "Wanna pway," he huffed.

"Let's go down to the living room and find something for you to do," Jane said. "Pepper, are you coming, or do you need a minute?"

"I'll be fine," Pepper answered. "Just a bit much to take in." She stood up and reached for Tony. "You know, he's kind of adorable like this."

The girls made their way back to the kitchen, DUM-E clanking loudly behind. Shuri had the bright idea to have the robot watch Tony while they figured out how to handle the situation.

"Wow," Darcy breathed when they were all sitting at the counter, Tony happily climbing all over DUM-E and trying to eat the robot's various gadgets and gizmos. "I go to Avengers Tower to find the missing Avengers, meet Tony Stark, and he's a baby? This is going right up with that picture of Thor on my Facebook page."

"No, Darcy!" Pepper said. "If the world knew that the Avengers were missing and that the one we managed to find is a baby, they'd freak out! We have to keep this a secret, at least for now. Maybe later, we can tell the public, but right now it's just too dangerous."

"Fine." Darcy aimed her phone camera at Tony. "But I'm still taking the picture."

_Snap_.

Tony blinked. "Again!" he demanded, putting little hands on his hips. 

Darcy giggled and snapped another photo.

_"Speaking of the Avengers,"_ JARVIS interrupted, _"I have located Captain Rogers, Miss Maximoff, and Mr. Wilson. Captain Rogers and Miss Maximoff are in their respective rooms and Mr. Wilson is in the hangar. The other members of the team appear to be in rooms where my scanners are still rebooting."_

Pepper sighed. "Thanks, JARVIS. Maybe they can help straighten this mess out." She paused. "Wait, are they kids, too?"

_"I am afraid that they have also been de-aged."_

Pepper slumped. "Well, that throws a monkey wrench in that plan."

"Moh-key!" Tony shouted, hopping off DUM-E and tottering over to Shuri. He reached out his hands. "Uppies!"

Shuri obligingly lifted him onto her lap. Tony reached for the small braids that her hair was in.

"Pitty," he told her. "Pitty haiw." He wrapped a fistful around his fingers and pulled.

The Wakandan princess laughed and untangled his grasping fingers from her braids. "Thanks, Mr. Stark," she teased.

"Tark!" Tony yelled, kicking the table leg. "Mitter Tark!" 

Shuri giggled and mussed up his hair. "Look, I will stay here with the mini millionaire, while you guys go find Captain America, Scarlet Witch, and Falcon. JARVIS, do you think all of the Avengers have been de-aged?"

_"As twelve individuals were inside the Tower when my systems went out, and four of them have been de-aged, there is a thirty_ _-four point three percent chance that all twelve individuals are now babies."_

"JARVIS, who else was in here?" Pepper asked, frowning. "I mean, before you were deactivated."

_"According to my last reading, Dr. Banner, Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff, Sergeant Barnes, King T'Challa, Colonel Rhodes, and Mr. Odinson and his brother were on the premises when my systems deactivated, besides Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark, Miss Maximoff, and Mr. Wilson."_

Shuri burst out laughing. "My brother, the high-and-mighty king of Wakanda, is a  _baby?_ Oh, this will be fun. I am going to put him in the craziest outfit I can find."

"First we have to find _him,_ " Jane reminded her. "You stay here with Tony. Pepper, you go get Wanda, I'll find Steve, and Darcy, look for Sam."

"Uh, I've never been in Avengers Tower before," Darcy answered. "I don't have the faintest idea where the hangar is."

"Got your iPod?" Pepper asked.

"Always. I don't let that thing out of my sight since that stunt S.H.I.E.L.D. pulled in New Mexico."

"Good. JARVIS, download a map of the Tower to Darcy's iPod- and Jane's phone, while you're at it."

Darcy's mouth dropped open. "Shut up! He can do that?"

_"Of course, Miss Lewis,"_ JARVIS replied, sounding as smug as an AI could.

"That is the coolest thing since Thor fell out of the sky."

* * *

Jane slipped up the stairs to the seventh floor, where the map on her phone told her Captain America's room was. The Tower was eerily silent. It unnerved her.

_This is not a good situation. If all the Avengers are babies, what's gonna happen if aliens decide to attack again, or Loki tries to-_ she stopped as she realized that, more than likely, Thor's creepy brother was also a baby.  _Well, at least that should keep him out of trouble._

She found Steve's room and knocked on the door, just in case. "Captain Rogers?" she called softly. 

When there was no answer, she pushed the door open and went inside.

"Oh, wow,"  she said with a laugh. "This is kind of adorable."

The entire room looked like it was from the forties- not at all what Jane had been expecting from Captain America. She grinned as she took in the wall to wall carpet, striped wallpaper, and wooden furniture.  _Where did he find all this antique stuff? A museum? Thrift store?_

A sharp wail broke her thoughts, and she made her way around the room, searching for the source of the noise.  _So, we were right about the baby thing._

"Captain Rogers?" she called softly. "Wait, that sounds weird to call a baby. Uh...Steve?"

Another cry brought her over to the side of the iron-rail bed. She knelt down. "Oh, gosh," she breathed. "You are really small."

Jane felt her heart melt as she picked up a tiny, teary-eyed baby boy and cradled him close to her chest. Steve wore a baby-size version of a white T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. He gripped a little metal shield in one hand, refusing to let go of it. Jane ruffled the baby's soft, blond hair. 

"You are the sweetest little thing I ever saw," Jane murmured. Steve sneezed in reply and cuddled into the crook of her arm. 

"JARVIS, how old is he?" she asked the ceiling. 

There was no answer. 

Jane rolled her eyes. "Of course, an AI would throw off the forties vibe you have in here, huh?" she asked the tiny captain. Steve yawned and closed his eyes.

Jane smiled.  _I can't believe this is how I meet Captain America,_ she thought.  _He goes to sleep in my arms._

She carried him back to the living room and found Shuri and Pepper talking in hushed, worried voices about the portal, which was now pulsing and flashing blue. Tony seemed entranced by it, as well as a new arrival- a tiny girl with straight auburn hair and a pink dress. 

Jane plopped Steve into Shuri's arms. "He is so cute!" the princess gushed. "Hello, little Captain Rogers!"

"Who's the new girl?" Jane asked.

Pepper picked up the girl and brought her over. "Meet Wanda Maximoff, aka Scarlet Witch, aka an adorable one-and-a-half-year-old."

Wanda smiled shyly at Jane and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

"Oh, that reminds me," Jane said. "JARVIS, how old is Steve?"

_"Captain Rogers is currently two months old,"_ the AI answered. 

"Wow, he's, like, a _baby_ baby _,_ " Darcy said, coming into the room with a curly-headed, dark-skinned little boy in her grip. "Is this Sam?"

_"Correct, Miss Lewis. That is indeed Mr. Wilson, who appears to be twenty months old."_

"He's adorable," Shuri declared, giving Sam a hug. She gathered all four babies together on the floor. "Pepper, would you grab that blanket?"

Pepper obliged, and all four women helped make a cozy nest on the floor for the de-aged heroes. Steve slept through the entire process, but Wanda attempted to crawl into the portal, Sam tried to climb up one of the chairs, and Tony somehow pulled the tiny arc reactor out of his chest, causing a freakout on Pepper's part. 

"No, no!" she cried, flying over to Tony and replacing the device. "No touching, okay?"

Tony pouted, but he didn't try to remove the reactor again.

When they finally got the four babies in their nest, Darcy took another picture. "This would get, like, a  _lot_ of likes," she said.

"Can't risk it, Darcy," Jane said. "People would riot and probably storm the Tower, and S.H.I.E.L.D. would be demanding to know what happened. They might even take the babies into protective custody. We have to pretend that the Avengers are still, well- the Avengers."

"Oh, that's hardly fair, Jane," Pepper protested. "They're still the Avengers, and they still have their powers. They're just baby versions instead of the grown-up ones. They're like- babyvengers."

"Wait, they still have their powers?" Jane asked. "All of them?

"I don't know about the other three, but Wanda was levitating a pillow when I found her," Pepper said. "I don't think normal babies can do that."

Wanda laughed when she heard her name, and Shuri lifted her up and hugged her. "They are so cute like this!" she exclaimed. "How long do you think it will last?"

"Until I can fix it," Jane replied. "I'll start as soon as we find the other eight."

"I hope we find my brother soon," Shuri said with a frown. "Not just so I can do things he will be mad at me for later, but because I am started to get worried about him."

_"You do not need to be worried any more, Princess Shuri,"_ JARVIS broke in. _"My systems are now fully online, including my scanners. I have located the other Avengers."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Oh, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls find the rest of the super babies scattered across the Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So this chapter is two weeks late. Whoops.  
> I got sidetracked with a couple things and didn't have much writing time. But, behold! I have returned with a new chapter!  
> If I get the next chapter done quickly, I'll post it early. If I don't, it will be posted on Friday. (That means there is a possibility of two new chapters this week!!)  
> Thanks for all the comments, subscriptions, kudos, and bookmarks! They mean the world to me!  
> Just gonna say it: I LOVE the positive comments you guys have been giving me, but I am totally fine with constructive criticism, too! If there's something I could have done better, by all means, tell me! If you have an idea for the story, leave a comment, although I can't guarantee I'll use your idea.  
> Okay, with that out of the way, on to Chapter Three of The Babyvengers!

 

 

"Where is T'Challa?" Shuri asked eagerly. "Is he all right?"

_"King T'Challa is in the training room, Princess,"_ JARVIS answered. _"He appears to be safe, but he is currently sixteen months old."_

Shuri leapt up and ran for the staircase. 

The other women exchanged glances. "JARVIS, are all of the Avengers babies?" Jane asked. "And, for the record, how old is Steve, anyway?"

_"I am afraid so, Dr. Foster. All twelve individuals in the Tower have been turned into infants. Mr. Odinson is in the gym downstairs, at two years old. Colonel Rhodes is in Mr. Stark's workshop. He is now fourteen months old. Dr. Banner is in the lab, now ten months old. Agent Barton appears to have climbed out onto the roof. He is a year old at the moment. Agent Romanoff is in her room at six months old. May I advise collecting her quickly? She has found a pistol and is examining it rather curiously."_

Jane rushed out of the room at that bit of information.

_"The younger Mr. Odinson is in Thor's room. He appears to be four months old. Sergeant Barnes is in the living room on the tenth floor, at eight months old. And, to answer your question, Captain Rogers is two months old."_

"Thank you, JARVIS," Pepper said. 

"Yeah, thanks!" Darcy echoed. 

"Darcy, you go get Thor," Pepper directed. "I'll stay here with the babies."

"Aye, aye, cap'n!" Darcy responded. She pulled out her iPod and left the room, tapping buttons on the map JARVIS had downloaded.

* * *

Darcy found the gym fairly easily, with the help of the map. It did get confusing for a moment once she realized that the Tower actually had  _seven_ gyms, but, with a little help from JARVIS, she soon found the correct one and headed inside.

"Whoa!" Darcy exclaimed, staring around her at the state-of-the-art equipment and Olympic-size lap pool. "This is neat!"

She went to the far side of the gym. No Thor. She checked behind the workout machines. Still no Thor. Worried, she scanned the pool. Thankfully, no Thor. 

"Thor?" she called. "Are you in here?"

Something that felt like a brick wall with a rocket attached crashed into Darcy's legs. She flailed her arms, trying to keep her balance. It didn't work. 

"Aaaaah!"

And that was when she realized that she'd been standing a bit too close to the pool. 

Darcy sputtered, popping up to the surface and pushing her wet hair out of her face. "Aw, c'mon, I just curled it!" she mourned, looking at her now limp strands. "What  _was_ that? A stray missile?"

Something hurtled over her head and landed in the pool, sending a small tsunami cascading over her before she had a chance to cry out.

Darcy shook the water out of her eyes and turned to see what had caused the wave. Her jaw dropped. " _Thor?!"_

A giggling toddler in full, miniature battle armor- complete with a bright red cape- bobbed next to her, splashing wildly. Darcy stared at the kid, who was obviously Thor. He had a tiny, blond ponytail and, even at two years old, was already built like a professional wrestler.  _I don't think I've ever seen Thor without a beard. Or Myuh-myuh._

Thor stuck out his hand. Darcy shrieked and ducked as a now much smaller hammer sailed over her head and into Thor's grasp. "Dawcy!" the toddler yelled. "I caughted Molniw! I caughted it!"

"Great, kid," Darcy said, clambering out of the pool. "You also got me soaked." She sighed. "My shoes are toast."

Thor cocked his head, considering her words. He pulled himself out of the water, walked over to where Darcy was squeezing the moisture from her shirt, and made an elegant, courtly bow that looked absolutely ridiculous coming from a toddler.

"I apowogize, faiw maiden," Thor declared. "My actions was unsooded to a futuwe wuwew of Asgawd. I wiww twy to do bettew in futuwe."

Darcy's heart melted.  _That might have been the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life!_ On impulse, she swept Thor up in her arms and hugged him. 

"Unhand me!" Thor bellowed. "I not done yet!"

"Aw, that's okay," Darcy told him. "I forgive you." She did set him down though, because,  _geez, has he been eating bricks? He's gotta weigh as much as a small hippopotamus!_

"Let's get you back to Pepper and the others," she said. "They're gonna love you...especially Jane."

"Jane?" Thor took off running toward the door. "Heimdall, open da Bifwost!"

"Heimdall, please do _not_ open the Bifrost!" Darcy added. She imagined chasing the currently two-year-old prince across the Nine Realms and shuddered. 

Heimdall didn't open the Bifrost, so Darcy raced out of the room, yelling for Thor to wait for her.

* * *

Steve had started to fuss, so Pepper held him on her lap, one eye on the snapping, crackling portal that had now absorbed the couch, and the other on Wanda, Tony, and Sam. Wanda had tried once again to crawl into the portal, and Pepper had enlisted DUM-E to keep the babies away from it.

"Eeeeee--bahbahbah," Steve said, inserting the edge of his shield into his mouth. Pepper stroked his silky, blond hair and hummed softly. "There you go, baby," she murmured, glad he had settled back down

Jane suddenly burst through the door, struggling with something in her arms. The something turned out to be baby Black Widow, dressed in a black leotard and tutu, red hair in a tiny bun on top of her head, clutching a pistol, and generally making it extremely hard for Jane to move her. She hung limp in the scientist's hands, dead weight. 

Jane finally wrestled the mini assassin into the blanket nest. Natasha immediately elbowed Sam out of the spot she wanted, tucked her gun under her head, and went to sleep- maybe. She might have been listening to everything that went on around her, but she  _looked_ like she was asleep. Sam pouted for a few minutes, then decided to try to pull the robo-arm off of DUM-E. 

"How is a baby so strong?" Jane panted, collapsing into a chair. "She  _bit_ me when I tried to pick her up."

"I don't think she should have that pistol," Pepper said worriedly. 

Jane waved her hand. "JARVIS confirmed. It's a very realistic toy. She can't actually shoot anything." She paused, then amended the statement. "Actually, she probably could find a way to shoot something out of it. But she can't shoot  _bullets._ "

Natasha proved that A, she was not asleep, and B, she didn't have to shoot her gun to use it as a weapon, by clobbering Tony over the head with it. Tony wailed and Natasha looked very pleased with her small self. 

"Natasha Alianovna Romanoff!" Pepper scolded. "No, no!" She plucked the pistol out of Natasha's hands and put it on the table. "Jane, would you help Tony?" 

Shuri staggered into the room, laughing helplessly. "What's going on?" Jane asked as she scooped some ice into a plastic bag for Tony.

"My-my brother!" Shuri gasped through tears of mirth. "Look at him!" She held out a tiny Black Panther, suit and all. "He is a little panther cub now!" Pepper set Steve in the blanket nest and rescued T'Challa in the nick of time as Shuri fell to the ground laughing. "I am going to put him in a banana costume," she declared. "Or maybe a chicken suit. He is a baby, and cannot stop my nefarious plans!"

"T'Challa Banana's gonna have to wait," Pepper said as Thor exploded through the doorway, an out of breath Darcy close behind. 

"Jane!" Thor screeched. The scientist scooped up the toddler. 

"Hey, Thor!" she cried, not even phased by the fact that the God of Thunder- her boyfriend- was two years old. "Were you good for Darcy?"

"No," Thor admitted. "I gotted hew aww wet. But I apowogized."

"Good job!" Jane praised him. She turned to Pepper. "I'll stay with the kids, while you guys go find the rest of the Avengers."

Pepper nodded. "Shuri, you get Rhodey. Darcy, Hawkeye. I'll track down Loki."

* * *

 It took the rest of the day to collect all twelve de-aged superheroes (and villain.) The girls took turns watching the babies and going out to find more. Everyone was growing increasingly nervous as the portal grew, and snapped, and flashed rainbow colors across the walls.

Rhodey was fairly easy to deal with. Once he ran out of plastic missiles to fire at Shuri, the princess removed his suit and brought him to Jane in an oversized T-shirt and shorts. Rhodey put up a fight for a little while, but as soon as he saw Tony, he calmed down. The two were soon happily engaged seeing what parts they could pull off of DUM-E and put back in strange places, with Tony completely forgetting about the large bump on his head from Natasha's pistol. 

Clint was, frankly, a holy terror. Poor Darcy had to crawl out onto the roof to get him. The baby archer was shooting a small bow and an ungodly amount of suction cup arrows, and, of course, getting a bullseye every shot. As soon as Darcy got within range, he turned his incredible accuracy on her. She walked into the living room ten minutes later with an arrow stuck between her eyes and Clint tucked under her arm. Jane offered to let Darcy have babysitting duty while she tracked down the Winter Soldier, and the worn-out girl quickly agreed. Clint fell asleep on top of Natasha, who had gotten her pistol back after a short lecture on hitting from Jane.

Pepper slipped into Thor's room to collect Loki. "I don't even want to know what you were doing in here," she told him as she gathered the four-month-old supervillain into her arms. Loki promptly attempted to punch her in the face, and when that didn't work, pulled her hair. Pepper grabbed a blanket and wrapped him in it, after a long struggle and several attempts at biting her hand. He was kind of cute, she guessed. His inky black hair was the softest thing she'd ever felt, and his green eyes were large and bright. However, they were also terrifying, staring unblinkingly up at her with a strange malevolence. Pepper felt a chill run down her spine.  _I never thought there could be a creepy baby, but apparently he proves me wrong._ Thor whacked Loki upside the head with his hammer when she brought him to the living room. Pepper didn't really blame him. 

Shuri collected Bruce, who had a way too large pair of glasses perched on his nose. His chocolate brown curls fell over his face, giving him a confused look. He was absolutely adorable, as well as being the most well-behaved baby they'd found so far. He went to sleep in Darcy's lap when they reached the living room, making small, contented noises and patting her leg.

Finally, Jane went to get Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier. She'd assumed he would be nearly impossible to find, given his stealthy reputation. But she found him, complete with a metal arm and long-ish brown hair, crying fit to wake the dead on the tenth-floor couch. He wouldn't stop screaming until she took him downstairs, where he cuddled next to Steve, sucking his thumb.

The women met to discuss the situation. "I'll start on a cure tomorrow," Jane said. "The most important thing is to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. and the public from finding out. Until then-" she sighed. "We're up a creek without a paddle, and we've got twelve super-powered babies strapped into the back of the canoe."

The portal exploded in a blinding flash of white. Twelve baby voices screamed in panic, as well as a few adult ones. The girls each grabbed up as many babies as they could carry and dove behind the bar as smoke filled the air.

Silence settled over the room. 

And then, an unfamiliar voice shattered the stillness.

"What the bloody heck happened to Sergeant Barnes?!"

The voice was very angry.

And very British.


	4. Blast From The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new arrival comes to Avengers Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, sorry this is so late, guys! School has kept me really busy lately.  
> I've decided to abandon my update schedule and simply post new chapters as I finish them. Sorry, all you routine lovers.  
> Also, someone brought up a very good question. Since not everyone reads the comments section, I'm going to put the answers to any questions here.  
> Cia asked me, "Is Clint deaf in this story?" When I read the question, I panicked, because the truth was I had no idea. I hadn't actually thought about it. But, after much deliberation, I knew my response. While this story is based on the cinematic universe, I have decided that, yes, Clint Barton is deaf in this story. It just serves the plotline really well and adds some more depth to his character.  
> Okay, that's enough from me. Enjoy the fourth installment of The Babyvengers- in full color!

 

 

"Well?" the voice demanded. "I can see you behind there. Besides, you left two of your babies out here."

Pepper took a rapid head count. Rhodey and Wanda were squeezed onto her lap, and she cradled Steve in her arms. Jane clutched Clint and Thor, who were both wiggling, and Bruce, who wasn't. Darcy had Loki in one arm and Sam in the other, and Shuri held her brother and Tony. That left...

_Natasha and Bucky!_ Pepper's heart sank. She transferred Rhodey to Darcy and Wanda to Jane, and stood up to face whoever or whatever had come through the portal. 

A woman who looked to be in her thirties stood where the portal had been, looking around with a curious expression on her face. Bucky was clasped in her arms, and Natasha sat at her feet, sucking the handle of her toy pistol. Pepper frowned.  _She looks vaguely familiar._

"Who are you?" Pepper challenged. "And how did you know that that baby is Sergeant Barnes?"

The woman looked pleased with herself. "Because you just told me," she pointed out, shifting Bucky to her hip and scooping up Natasha. "Although, I'll admit that I have no idea who this one could be." She gave an inquisitive glance to Steve, still cuddled up against Pepper.

"Exactly how many children do you have, and are all of them age-regressed enhanced individuals?"

Pepper felt her face redden. "They're not my kids...exactly," she answered hotly. "And you didn't answer my question, so why should I answer yours?"

"Quite right, I suppose," the stranger said with a small shrug. Natasha squirmed and whined, and the woman set her down. Straightening up, she fixed Pepper with a hard gaze. "I am Peggy Carter, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. And you would be..."

"Pepper," Pepper replied. "Pepper Potts." She stepped forward, plucked Bucky from Peggy's arms, and handed him off to Shuri. "Wait...did you say Peggy Carter?"

"Correct," Peggy said briskly. 

"But...you're...you're supposed to be...I mean, aren't you from...did you come through that portal?" Pepper stammered.  _Why is this my life? Something turns the Avengers into babies and a woman I read about in history books is standing four feet away from me._

Peggy turned, scanning for the portal. "Well, I guess I did," she said. "Would you mind telling me exactly where and when I am? I am fairly certain I'm not 1940s New York anymore."

"You're still in New York," Pepper said. "Manhattan, to be exact. But...um...you're in the 21st century."

Peggy's eyes widened. "Oh," she said. "Imagine that." She looked around again. "I suppose that would explain the odd decor."

Pepper frowned. "You're taking this pretty calmly for someone who just traveled seventy plus years into the future."

Peggy brushed at her skirt. "Trust me, this is not the strangest thing I've seen," she said with a short laugh.

"Pepper?" Jane's voice called. "Is it safe to come out?"

"It's fine," Pepper responded. Steve whimpered and twisted in her arms. "Shh, baby," she murmured. 

Jane's head appeared above the counter. "We- we heard your conversation," she said. "I always theorized that time-travel was possible via Einstein-Rosen bridges, but I couldn't figure out how to stabilize the time-space continuum breach. This could change life as we know it- if we revealed it, of course."

Peggy stared at Jane, one eyebrow slightly raised. Jane blushed. "Sorry. Science rant. Hi. I'm Jane Foster. That's Darcy, and Shuri's still behind the counter." Darcy appeared, giving Peggy a small wave.

Steve whined and grabbed at Pepper's shirt. His little face crumpled, and Pepper gasped. "Oh, no."

Steve burst out crying, flailing his legs and arms. It only took a few seconds for Bucky to join in, then Natasha. In less than a minute, most, if not all, of the babies were in tears.

"Great," Pepper huffed. She thrust Steve into Peggy's arms. "Hold him for a minute, will you?"

She dove back behind the counter, where the others were frantically trying to calm screaming babies. Thor and Clint were one of the only three who wasn't crying. Surprisingly, Loki was the third. He lay quietly, watching the others with an oddly judgmental look in his eyes. The rest were wailing loudly enough to wake the dead

Darcy rocked Bruce in her arms, looking at Pepper with a slightly terrified look in her eyes. "I can get one baby to calm down," she said. "Two or three, if I have to. But this is ridiculous."

Pepper silently agreed. Nine out of twelve wailing baby Avengers were proving way too hard to handle. She plopped down crosslegged on the floor and scooped up Natasha and Tony. Jane was softly singing to Sam and Wanda, which seemed to be working for Wanda but not for Sam. Darcy rocked Bruce and Rhodey. Shuri was taking a slightly different approach. She had Bucky in her lap and was holding T'Challa at arm's length. "Brother, would you please shut up?!" she yelled.

Bruce and Tony were the first to go quiet. Pepper put Tony back in the blanket nest and took Sam from Jane. Shuri started singing to her brother in what Pepper assumed was their native language, which calmed him down almost instantly. Finally, all the babies were either asleep or quiet. 

Pepper sighed and stood back up."Sorry about that, Peggy. I-" she stopped short.

Peggy was down on her knees on the floor, one hand pressed over her mouth. She rocked back and forth, tears streaming down her face.

"What on earth?" Pepper started to say. Then she realized exactly which baby she had handed to Peggy.

Oh.  _Oh._

* * *

Darcy, Jane, and Shuri soon managed to get all the babies asleep. Pepper sat with Peggy, who refused to let go of Steve. 

"So, how did you know it was him?" Pepper asked.

Peggy scoffed. "I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., Pepper. You think I haven't seen baby pictures of Steve and the Howling Commandos? It's how I recognized Sergeant Barnes- although that metal arm is new." She pressed Steve to her chest. "I just can't believe he's alive. When he crashed that plane, I was sure..." she rubbed a finger over the little shield. "I was so certain that I'd never see him again."

"You weren't surprised to find out that Bucky was still alive," Pepper pointed out.

Peggy sighed.

"One of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s dirty secrets, I'm afraid. A few years after Steve died- after we  _thought_ he had died, we learned of Sergeant Barnes' capture by Hydra. We did attempt one rescue mission, but it failed, and we lost several good agents in the undertaking. After that, well- I suppose everyone simply forgot." She cuddled Steve again, laughing as the baby chewed a strand of her hair. "You say he was asleep for nearly seventy years? Trapped beneath the ice?"

"Yep," Pepper answered. "And they still call him Captain America. Well, not now, I guess. Since he's a baby and all that."

"Really?" Peggy said. "Do they still do that ridiculous routine with the stupid theme song and the motorcycle and the fake Hitler and the chorus girls?"

Pepper blinked. "Um...no." _What is she talking about?_

"Good," Peggy said. "Steve always hated those performances." She frowned. "What about Sergeant Barnes? What in the world happened to him?"

"I thought you said you knew that," Pepper replied.

"We knew Hydra had him, but we didn't know what they were doing. And, after a bit, we didn't even know if he was still alive."

"Oh," Pepper said. "Well, it's...complicated. I'll give you the short story now, and fill you in on the details later."

She proceeded to give Peggy a very brief, paraphrased version of what Tony had told her and what she had heard from the other team members. Peggy, naturally, was outraged.

"I'm glad Hydra was destroyed," she said fiercely. "Even if it did mean the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. So, how did Steve take the news that his friend was alive, after all?"

"Uh...I think we should save that part of the story for when we have more time," Pepper said, rubbing the back of her neck. "It's, well, tricky.

"I suppose you're right," Peggy responded. "I still want to know who those other babies are. Are they all enhanced individuals?"

"We call them superheroes," Pepper said, taking Steve. "Not all of them actually have powers, but pretty much, yes."

She led Peggy over to the blanket nest, handed Steve to Darcy, and plucked Thor from the pile. "This is Thor, the Asgardian prince of thunder. He can wield the hammer Mjolnir, which allows him to summon lightning."

"So, it appears Johann Schmidt was correct," Peggy mused. "Asgard. Hmm."

"And his adopted brother, Loki," Pepper continued. "He's supposedly a sorcerer."

"He looks...malicious," Peggy said after studying the black-haired baby. "Is he a superhero in his actual form?"

"He tried to take over New York two years ago with an army of aliens and a magic scepter," Jane cut in. "He's kind of creepy. But also cute. Babies generally are, as a rule." She blushed. "Cute, not creepy."

"You already know Bucky," Pepper said, moving on, "but this is one of Steve's other friends." She held up Sam. "Falcon, aka Sam Wilson, who uses a wing pack to fly. And this-" she picked up Clint- "is Hawkeye, otherwise known as Clint Barton. World's top archer." 

Clint gave Peggy a disinterested glance and popped his thumb into his mouth. Pepper shook her head. "Grumpy," she muttered playfully, putting Clint back down.

"Bruce Banner, also the Hulk," Pepper said, introducing Peggy to another baby. "He turns into a big green...thing...when he's angry." Peggy seemed delighted with Bruce- not that Pepper could blame her. He really was adorable. 

"Scarlet Witch, aka Wanda Maximoff," Pepper told Peggy. "She can move things with her mind. And she's the only one who still has her powers, as far as we know."

"There aren't that many female heroes, are there?" Peggy observed. She gestured to T'Challa. "And who is this?"

"My brother, T'Challa," Shuri broke in. "The king of Wakanda and the Black Panther."

"Wakanda?" Peggy asked. "Where Howard Stark got the vibranium for Steve's shield." 

"Yes," Shuri answered. "T'Challa's suit is made of vibranium. Or at least, it used to be." She eyed the tiny black suit T'Challa wore- now reduced to the world's most technologically advanced pair of footie pajamas.

"Yeah, whatever turned the Avengers into babies also turned their weapons and suits into baby-appropriate versions," Jane remarked. "That might be worth investigating."

"Speaking of Howard Stark," Pepper interrupted, "this is his son, Tony, aka Iron Man. He has a suit of armor that can do...just about anything he wants."

Peggy reached for Tony. "He resembles his father," she said. "Have you told Howard that his son is now a baby?"

Pepper sighed. "Howard and his wife, Maria," she began, "were killed in a- a car accident several years ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Howard was a good friend."

"And here's Tony's good friend, Rhodey, who goes by War Machine and also has a suit," Pepper continued. "And, last but not least, Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow."

Peggy's mouth fell open. "This is the infamous Black Widow?" she exclaimed. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has been after her for years. Did they finally catch her?"

"Actually, she joined them," Pepper explained. "She was one of their best agents until S.H.I.E.L.D. fell."

"I'm surprised they allowed that," Peggy said. "The Black Widow is at the top of their hit list back in my time. She has made a lot of enemies in high places."

"Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed," Pepper answered. "She uses her old tactics, but for good now. She's the only girl on the Avengers team for a very good reason."

"When I come from, the Black Widow is a name to be feared," Peggy said with a frown. "I was sent after her once myself, and I never even saw her. She's killed more people than the best Hydra operative, and she's ruthless. She can slip through the highest security and never be detected until it's too late. They say-"

"Um, Jane?" Darcy broke in. "Is this- normal?"

"Is what normal, Darcy?" Jane asked, turning. "Oh, my gosh!"

"What is it?" Peggy demanded. Her hands flew to her mouth. "Steve!" she screamed.

Little Steve lay limp in Darcy's arms, his chest heaving as he tried desperately to breathe.


	5. Standoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor to Avengers Tower intimidates all the girls...except for one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I’m posting a new chapter!  
> I just randomly started writing today, looked down after what I thought was five minutes, and realized, “Oh, I’ve been writing for two hours and this chapter’s done.” I was planning to wait until Monday to post the new installment, but I decided to surprise you guys instead.  
> Enjoy!

"Call an ambulance!" Pepper cried.

Peggy seemed to be in shock, watching as Darcy cradled baby Steve in her arms. Jane rushed over and examined him. "He's unresponsive!" she called out, somehow still keeping a cool head. "Darcy, Shuri, try to keep the others quiet. Hand Steve to me. It’ll be okay, Peggy. He’ll be fine. Pepper, don't call 911."

"Why?" Pepper gasped.

"We can't reveal what happened to the Avengers," Jane said, plucking Steve from Peggy's hands. "Do you have the number for that guy who runs S.H.I.E.L.D.? Call him." She set Steve on the floor and tilted his head back. "He's not breathing." Jane bent over Steve and started performing rescue breaths.

"What is she doing?" Peggy asked, her voice shaking.

"It's called CPR," Pepper answered, rapidly jabbing buttons on her phone. "It should help."

Jane began repeatedly pressing her hand down on Steve's chest. Her mouth moved silently as she counted.

"Director Fury?" Pepper said into the phone. "This is Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries. I'm at Avengers Tower with Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, and Princess Shuri of Wakanda. We have an emergency." She paused. "It involves Captain America. And it should have involved an ambulance. Do you have a medical team available?" Another pause. "Okay. Hurry. Oh, and Director?" She paused again. "There are two other...small...situations in here. Just...don't ask, and don't panic. We'll explain everything after we get some help for Captain America." Another pause. "Yes, Director. Got it."

Jane switched back to rescue breaths and then put her ear to Steve's chest. "He's breathing!" the scientist shouted. Peggy flew to her side, crouching next to Steve.

“Shuri, baby report!” Pepper called.

“Most of them are still asleep,” Shuri replied. “Natasha is awake- if she’s the one with red hair in pink.”

“No, that’s Wanda,” Pepper told her. “Natasha’s the scary one in the tutu. And Loki’s the creepy one.”

“I know. He reminds me of a hyena.”

Darcy snorted.

Shuri continued. “Rhodey is also awake, although I think he is going back to sleep. Everyone else is already asleep.” She stood up. “I am going to put them back in the pile of blankets. Is Steve all right?”

Jane sighed, sitting back on her heels. “I got him breathing. Now we have to keep him quiet and calm so he doesn’t have another attack.”

Darcy gasped. “He was attacked? But we were all right here.”

“An asthma attack, Darcy,” Jane clarified.

“But the serum washed that away,” Peggy said, looking confused.

“Evidently whatever turned him into a baby stripped away the serum,” Jane said. “Definitely worth checking out. Especially since Wanda still has her powers.”

Shuri picked up T’Challa and cuddled him. “I hope my brother still has his powers.” She tapped his black outfit. “His suit is no longer made of Vibranium.”

Darcy scoffed. “Clint doesn’t need powers. He’s freakishly good with that bow.” She rubbed her temple with a wince. “And, just in case anyone was wondering, suction cup arrows fired at your face by a little baby who should be in the Olympics for perfect accuracy _hurt._ ”

 _“Excuse me for interrupting,”_ JARVIS said, _“but S.H.I.E.L.D. is outside. Director Fury is coming inside with a large medical team.”_

The door burst open. A tall, sturdy man wearing a flowing black trench coat and a scowl strode inside, scanning the room. His eye fell on Jane, still crouching over baby Steve.

“ _What in the Sam Hill?!_ ”

* * *

 

“Ms. Potts, I think you’d better explain to me just _why_ an Asgardian prince, a colonel, a genius billionaire, a war vet, a super soldier, the Wakandan king, a gamma scientist, a woman who can lift things with her mind, the world’s top archer, a trickster who also happens to be Asgardian, and two Russian-trained assassins are currently under the age of two. And while you’re at it-“ Fury pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Peggy. “Why don’t you tell me why and how a 1940s S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is _standing in the living room of Avengers Tower?!”_

Pepper started to speak, but Peggy cut her off, stepping up to Nick Fury and staring him in the eye. “Excuse me, sir, but why don’t _you_ tell _me_ exactly who you are and why you assume that everyone is going to blindly take your orders? And then, after that, if you’re not too busy bossing around every bloody person you bump into, you can get some help for Captain America.”

The room went silent.

Fury snapped his fingers, and the medical team took over for Jane, who went behind the bar to help Shuri with the babies. He stood up to his full height, towering over Peggy.

“I am Director Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D., Ms. Carter,” he said, his voice cold and hard. “And I am only going to tell you this once. This is not the forties. And you are not in charge. I am. As Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, I outrank an ordinary S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.” He moved even closer to her. “Like you.”

Pepper searched Peggy’s face, but couldn’t find a single hint of intimidation or even concern. She folded her arms, cocking her head and looking at Fury.

“In case you’ve forgotten,” she said, her British accent sharp and clipped, “I helped found S.H.I.E.L.D., along with my dear friend Howard Stark, who I have just learned is now deceased. You may be the Director in this time, sir, but I am still the co-founder. Which means that I outrank you. Don’t try to give me orders, sir. It will not end well for you.”

Finished with her speech, Peggy sat down daintily on the couch, folding her hands in her lap primly while giving Fury a side-eye that probably made even Fury uncomfortable.

Pepper cleared her throat. “Um…okay then. Director, we don’t really know why the Avengers are babies. I was the only one in the Tower who didn’t get transformed, and I was asleep. Even JARVIS had his systems shut down for about two hours, so we have no idea why this happened, or who caused it.

Jane’s going to work on it.”

Fury sighed. “This isn’t a good time for this to happen,” he said angrily. “I’ve got Asgard breathing down my neck about Thor and that brother of his being here, General Ross pestering me about the Hulk, and as soon as Wakanda finds out that their king is a baby, there’s going to be chaos.”

Shuri stood up. “You do not have to worry about Wakanda, Director,” she said. “I will explain to my mother about T’Challa, and inform her that I will be staying here to care for him until Jane finds a cure.”

She tapped her bead bracelet and disappeared behind the counter again, speaking quietly in her native language.

“Well, that should take care of Wakanda,” Pepper said.

“Yeah, now I just have to deal with Asgard and Ross,” Fury huffed. “And probably all of Stark’s fans.” He looked over to the medical team. “How’s it coming, boys?”

One of the medics grinned. “We’ve got him stable, sir,” he replied. “And we can show the little lady what to do if it happens again, if you want.” He gestured to Peggy, who hopped off the couch and plopped herself down next to Steve.

Fury shook his head. “That won’t be necessary, Thompson,” he said. “S.H.I.E.L.D. will be taking these babies into protective custody until we can restore them to their natural form.”

“What?” all five women cried.

Shuri popped up from behind the counter, clutching T’Challa to her heart. “Not this one, you won’t,” she said fiercely.

“Asgard probably won’t let you take Thor or Loki either,” Jane pointed out.

Peggy said nothing. She only held Steve closer, glaring at Fury.

“It’s the safest option,” Fury snapped. “They’re vulnerable in this state. And so is the earth.”

“Don’t you have some other heroes you could call in?” Pepper asked. “What about that guy Tony was telling me about? The shrinking one? Or Spider-Man.”

“Great,” Fury deadpanned. “Two heroes taking the place of six.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D.’s no place for babies!” Pepper protested. “Especially _these_ babies.” She snatched up Tony and cuddled him. “You can’t just stick them in a lab somewhere!”

“You’re forgetting, Ms. Potts,” Fury said in an icy tone, “two of these babies are my agents.” He gestured to Clint, who was asleep, and Natasha, who was awake and eating the edge of her tutu. “And one of them is, technically speaking, a wanted criminal.” He eyed Bucky, drawing a confused glance from Peggy.

“But Clint and Natasha are also members of the Avengers,” Jane argued. “I don’t think S.H.I.E.L.D. has jurisdiction over them anymore.”

“The Avengers are a S.H.I.E.L.D. program,” Fury said slowly, “but they do operate on their own ever since that incident with Iron Man and Captain America…let’s call it a disagreement.”

“Let’s call it a brawl,” Pepper muttered.

“However,” Fury continued after an awkward silence, “not all of these individuals have formally signed on with the Avengers.” He pointed to each one. “The Winter Soldier. Colonel Rhodes. Falcon. Loki. Black Panther. Scarlet Witch.”

“Actually, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, and Rhodey did,” Jane corrected. “And Wakanda would probably go ballistic if you tried to take their king. And Asgard probably wants Loki back to keep an eye on him.”

Fury blew out his breath. “Fine. That still leaves the Winter Soldier.”

“Why do you keep calling him that?” Peggy asked, frowning.

“Long story, I’ll explain later, moving on,” Pepper said quickly.

“Director, I know you’ve wanted the Winter Soldier in custody for a while now,” Jane said. “If you found a way to turn them back into adults, would you actually release him?”

Fury’s jaw tightened. “The Winter Soldier is wanted for dozens of charges of murder, among other things,” he answered. “As far as the law is concerned, he’s a terrorist. We would probably have to keep him under lock and key until we prove that he was brainwashed.”

Peggy jumped to her feet. She pushed Steve into the arms of one of the medics, marched over to Fury, and put her hands on her hips. “Look, if this ‘Winter Soldier’ you keep talking about is connected to Sergeant Barnes and Hydra, then I want to know about it. Later. But for now, Pepper is absolutely right. S.H.I.E.L.D. is no place for a baby in my time, and I’d be willing to bet that it still isn’t in this one. So I’ll remind you again: I am both an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and its founder. As long as I am here, I have the right to override your decisions. But I’ll make you a deal: We will convert- this-“ she waved at the inside of the Tower “-into a space appropriate for these babies. And Jane will work on a cure. In a month, you can come back here. If you think we have not done an adequate job, you can take all the babies except the As-gard-ian-“ she pronounced the word slowly- “ ones, and Princess Shuri’s brother. Sound fair?”

Fury glared down at Peggy, his single eye narrowed as he thought over her words. Finally, he sighed. “It’s obvious that I’m not going to get anything past you, Agent Carter,” the Director said. “I’ll take your offer.”

Jane, Darcy, and Pepper cheered. Shuri hugged her brother, and Peggy smiled in a way that said she knew what the answer would be all along.

“On one condition,” Fury added. “Doctor Foster, my scientists will be working on a cure at the same time as you are. Any and all progress you make must be sent to them in no more than twenty-four hours after you make it. Clear?”

Jane nodded. “Crystal.”

“Pack up, boys,” Fury barked. “Oh, and Thompson. Show Agent Carter here what to do if Steve has another attack.” He turned back to Pepper. “As soon as possible, get them all checked out by a doctor you can trust with the secret. I want to know which ones still have powers. And I’ll send you any medical records I happen to have.” He stepped over to the blanket nest and gave Natasha a quick pat on the head. “All right, let’s move!”

The girls watched as the Director and the medics left the Tower. Pepper exhaled loudly and fell back on the couch. “That man scares me,” she declared.

“Me too,” Darcy said. “He’s almost as creepy as Loki.”

“Peggy, how did you stand up to him like that?” Pepper asked. “It was amazing.”

Peggy’s lips twitched. “It’s an old trick I learned years ago. If you act like you have the power, most people will give it to you. Only, in this case, I really do have the power.”

Jane sighed. “I’d better get busy. We’ve got some work to do if we’re gonna turn this into a nursery.”

“Don’t forget check-ups,” Pepper said. “We need to find a doctor we can trust.”

“We don’t need to worry about that part,” Jane told her. “I know a guy.”

 

 


	6. Doctor In The House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The babies get their first check-up, and the girls get some upsetting news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CELEBRATORY ENDGAME CHAPTER!!   
> It does still fit in with the plot line of the story, though.  
> Also, don’t panic, I won’t kill any of my babies. Who the heck would do that?! *glares at Thanos*  
> So excited for Endgame, guys!! Unfortunately, I won’t get to see it for a few weeks, but I am counting the minutes until then!!  
> Enjoy this next chapter of the Babyvengers!  
> (Also, sorry about my overuse of exclamation points.)

The doctor’s wrinkled hands pressed the stethoscope to Steve’s chest. “Yep, he’s got asthma all right,” he said with a chuckle. “Asthma, a heart palpitation, high risk of colds…you want me to write you a list?”

“That’d be great,” Jane said, pulling Steve’s shirt back over his head and handing him the little metal shield. “Oh, poor little Stevie. What are we going to do with you?”

“I’ll make a list of that, too,” the doctor called over his shoulder. “Everything you can do to treat anything that’s wrong. And a list of things to watch out for.”

Jane sighed, plucking Steve from the table and bouncing him on her knee. “Thanks, Doc. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“You wouldn’t be here, for one thing,” the old doctor chuckled, writing furiously on a clipboard. “You’d be at some other fella’s place, probably some blabbermouth who’d tell the whole world your little secret.”

“You won’t spill the beans, will you, Doc?” Jane asked anxiously.

“Nope!” the old man said with a smile. “The way my memory is these days, I’ll have forgotten before I get home tonight.” He winked at her. “Okay, this little guy’s all set.” He handed Jane a stack of papers. “The first sheet tells you everything he’s got going on. The second one is what you do to fix it. And the third one is how to prevent it from happening anyway.”

Jane frowned as she tried to keep it straight. The doctor waved his hand dismissively. “Aw, never mind. They’re labeled.”

Jane picked up Steve, who had once again pushed the edge of the shield into his mouth. She lifted the baby’s arm. “Say bye-bye, Stevie,” she cooed, making him wave at the doctor. Steve opened his mouth wide in a toothless smile, which turned into a yawn. Jane laughed. “I’ll send in the next patient.”

She stepped out into the waiting room, empty except for the five women and the babies. Just in case anyone else walked in, the girls had tried to match up the babies so they looked like siblings. Shuri had refused to let anyone else take her brother, so she had Rhodey and Sam, as well. Pepper was keeping an eye on Wanda, who was playing on the floor, while holding Natasha, who was looking around wide-eyed. Peggy had grudgingly allowed Jane to take Steve. The British agent looked fairly happy cradling Bruce and Tony, the former of which was sound asleep. Jane herself had charge of Steve, as well as Thor and Clint. And poor Darcy had wound up with the troublemakers, Bucky and Loki.

Actually, Bucky had been fairly well-behaved. It was Loki who had been a handful. The Asgardian trickster had been…well, up to his old tricks.  In the twenty minutes it had taken the girls to sort out the babies and load them into the various flashy vehicles in the garage, he had pulled Wanda’s hair, thrown a pencil at Bruce, and tried to take Natasha’s pistol- which had resulted in him now sporting a bump on his head to match Tony’s. It had also resulted in Natasha getting the pistol taken away for the second time that day.

Jane looked around the room, trying to decide which baby to take in next. Finally, she lifted Loki from Darcy’s arms. “How about I take him off your hands for a bit?” she suggested.

Darcy blew out her breath. “Thanks. He tried to hit me in the nose a few minutes ago. And he keeps…I dunno… _looking_ at me.” She shifted Bucky to the center of her lap. “This one’s easier to handle.” She slipped a rubber band off her wrist and started putting Bucky’s long-ish brown hair in a ponytail.

Jane looked down at Loki, who was eyeing her with a mischievous look on his face. “Oh, no, you don’t,” she warned him, holding him at arms’ length. “You’re not playing any tricks on me.”

Loki considered this for a moment, then burst into howls.

“Oh, you…” Jane muttered, taking him inside the office. “Doc, I might have to help you with this one.”

* * *

 

It had been over an hour, and there were still five more babies to go. Steve, Loki, Wanda, Sam, T’Challa, Thor, and Tony had all been thoroughly checked out, although the doctor hadn’t been able to figure out which ones still had their powers or not. Natasha was in the office with Jane and the doctor, and the babies in the waiting room had stormed the play area. Steve, the youngest of the group, was lying in Pepper’s lap, chewing a rattle.

Pepper sighed. Twelve babies might just prove beyond their combined abilities. Three out of twelve had had an accident, four out of twelve had started crying, and two out of twelve had gotten in a fight. (Naturally, those two had been Thor and Loki.) 

The babies were all pretty happy at the moment, though. Loki was busy with a board book, Darcy watching him to make sure he didn’t destroy it. Wanda and Tony were building a block tower, Wanda using her powers to lift the blocks higher than any little kid should be able to. Shuri had migrated from her chair to the floor, sitting down in the middle of a sea of plastic food and playing with T’Challa and Thor. T’Challa seemed to be enjoying Shuri’s play, while Thor was perfectly happy just throwing the plastic food at whoever was in range, although his aim was terrible. Sam was currently shaking a toy in front of Steve, laughing when the younger baby lazily batted it. Clint had managed to climb up the bookshelf, where he sat gazing out the window and shrieking whenever a bird flew by, which was often. Bruce, Rhodey, and Bucky were playing with a wooden cube covered in plastic tubes and wires, pushing beads around on the toy and giggling when they slid down.

The door leading to the doctor’s office suddenly burst open. “I’m sorry about that, Doc,” Jane was saying. “She has some violent tendencies.” The doctor chuckled. “No need to apologize. I’ve dealt with fussy babies before.” He straightened Natasha’s tiny black tutu. “Can’t expect them to be angels all the time, can we?”

Jane handed Natasha off to Pepper. “What’d she do?” Pepper asked, eyeing the perfectly quiet, innocent-looking baby.

Jane frowned. “She pretty much fought Doc on everything. And when she doesn’t want to do something, she doesn’t do it.” She shook her head. “I’m glad she didn’t have that pistol of hers, or she might have become the first baby in history to commit murder.”

Pepper laughed. “You’re a bad girl, Tasha,” she said, bouncing Natasha on her knee. “We better teach you to play nice.” Natasha yawned, sending the clear message that she was not interested.

Jane walked over to the play area and scooped up Bucky. “All right, buddy. Your turn.”

Bucky whined, but he didn’t fight Jane. The door shut behind them.

Forty-seven minutes later, Pepper held Bucky on her lap next to Steve, waiting for Jane to appear with the last baby, Clint. Bucky had had a meltdown over his check-up, and only stopped crying once he was done and cuddled up next to Steve. Darcy had moved to the chair beside Pepper, and was styling the tiny assassin’s long hair. She’d put it in three different kinds of ponytails, braided it, French braided it, and was now doing what looked like a very complicated braid.

“What kind is that?” Pepper asked.

“Hmm?” Darcy looked up from her styling. “Oh. Fishtail.” 

Peggy's voice suddenly rang out. "Are you supposed to be touching that?”

Pepper looked over and saw Tony, with a very guilty look on his face, slide his arc reactor back into place, glancing nervously at her. She shook her head at him and mouthed “thank you” to Peggy.

The door opened again. “Finally!” Darcy said, tying off the fishtail braid.

Jane nodded at something the doctor said. “Yeah, we’ll be sure to do that, Doc. Thanks again for all of this.” She looked less cheerful than she had during the other babies’ checkups, her face solemn. The doctor smiled at her. “You’ll have to bring some of ‘em back in a few weeks,” he said. “I’d like to see the little blond one, in particular.”

“Steve?” Jane said. “All right, will do.”

She sighed as the doctor retreated into his office. “All right, ladies, gather round,” she said. “We’ve got some tough stuff coming up.”

When the girls had all moved within earshot, Jane started delivering the news. “So, Steve’s pretty bad. As far as we can tell, every medical problem the serum corrected is back. He’s got severe asthma, he’s susceptible to colds, he’s had both rheumatic fever and scarlet fever, he has a heart palpitation, heart trouble, low blood pressure, and nervous trouble. It’s a laundry list of difficulties.” She held up the packet of papers. “Doc gave me this list of everything we should do in case something goes wrong."

Peggy cradled Steve next to her heart. “I’ve probably never heard of any of these treatments,” she said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you,” Jane promised. “Okay- Tony’s got a slight fever, nothing serious. Doc’s also concerned about his reactor. Pepper, can you make sure to monitor that?”

Pepper nodded.

“Moving on to the Asgardians,” Jane continued. “Actually, they were pretty difficult because they aren’t human. But, as best as we can figure out, they’re both absolutely fine. Bucky’s got an irritation around his metal arm- Peggy, I’ll explain about that later- which we think may just be a rash, but Doc’s having me bring him back in so we can make sure it’s not measles or anything like that. Oh, yeah, he’s also lactose intolerant, apparently.”

Darcy pulled her rubber band from Bucky’s hair, unbraided it, and put half of it up in a ponytail.

“Shuri, your brother is okay, too,” Jane said, smiling at the Wakandan princess. “Natasha’s mostly good, although she may have a cold. Rhodey and Bruce are all right, too. Sam definitely has a cold- we’re going to bring him back here, too. Wanda isn’t sick in any way, but she does have a mild peanut allergy. We better watch that. And then-“ Jane sighed. “We’ve got Clint.”

“What’s wrong?” Pepper asked immediately, realizing that Jane was upset. “Is he sick?”

“He’s not sick,” Jane replied slowly. “Actually, he may be the healthiest one out of all of them. But Doc did some tests, and he’s- he’s about eighty percent deaf in both ears.”

A shocked silence fell over the group. “Whoa,” Darcy finally muttered.

“Can he hear at all?” Shuri asked.

“Not really,” Jane answered, shaking her head. “Doc’s going to look into hearing aids and get back to us next time.” She cuddled Clint close. “That’s why he was so quiet when the others were crying. If a baby is with a group of other babies, and one baby starts crying, typically all the babies will start crying. But Clint couldn’t hear anything, so he didn’t cry.” She checked her watch and gasped. “Guys, it’s like, eleven! We better get back and get these babies fed.”

It took another twenty minutes to round up the babies and distribute them among the girls. It took another ten minutes to get them all loaded up in the various cars.

Pepper buckled Wanda in, and then turned her attention to Natasha, who was starting to fuss. “Oh, it’s okay,” Pepper soothed. “We’ll be home soon, sweetheart.”

Natasha pouted, but she sulkily allowed Jane to buckle her seatbelt. _Note to self: we need car seats, pronto._

Pepper shut the car door and walked around the front to get in the driver’s seat. She waved as she saw Darcy’s car, and then Jane’s, who had taken Peggy and her assigned babies along with hers, pull out onto the road.

 _I’m glad Jane found a doctor we can trust with this little secret,_ she thought, watching Shuri’s car follow the other two. She hopped into the driver’s seat and started the ignition. _Who knows how many times we’ll need him?_

Just before pulling out of the parking lot, Pepper studied the sign on the front of the building. “Dr. Stan Lee, M.D.,” she read aloud.

 


	7. All The Toys, Toys, Toys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Peggy go shopping for baby toys...along with an uncooperative baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo-hoo! Next chapter up!  
> So, briaboo asked me a question. She said, “Where’s Captain Marvel since she’s not a baby? Is she going to join this Marvel ladies babysitting team?”  
> The answer to that is, I have no idea. I haven’t seen Captain Marvel yet, so I don’t know her personality and character. I try to make my characters as close to the real ones as possible, and I just don’t know enough about her to put her in the story yet. However, all you Captain Marvel fans, I am trying to include as many characters as I can. So she’ll probably pop up sooner or later, although I don’t know if she’ll join the ranks of the babysitting team (which needs a name, any ideas?)  
> Okay, that’s all I’ve got to say about that. Enjoy the seventh chapter! Feels_Like_Fearless, over and out!

“Okay, let’s get lunch going,” Pepper said, tossing her keys onto the table by the door. “JARVIS, do that Wal-Mart thing where you order groceries and they deliver them to your house…or tower, as the case may be.”

“Of course, Ms. Potts. What shall I order?”

“Um…” Pepper scanned the babies, trying to figure out if there was any food item that all twelve could eat. Jane jumped in.

“Get two large boxes of cereal, something single-grained,” she said. “And…hmm…six jars of baby food, the fruit and vegetable kind. A small carton of eggs, six boxes of pasta, a package of those boneless chicken breasts, and two boxes of formula- make sure one’s lactose-free.” She paused. “Put it on Tony’s bill.”

“Of course.”

“That’s a lot of food,” Darcy remarked.

Jane shrugged. “All these babies are different ages. Which means that all of them need different meals.”

“I wish this tower was a bit more baby-friendly,” Pepper said. “There’s really nothing for them to play with or anything. Well, Tony and Rhodey seem to be enjoying DUM-E.”

“Why don’t Peggy and I go buy some toys?” Darcy suggested. “Maybe it’ll distract them until we can get lunch made.”

“Um…” Jane glanced at Peggy. “I don’t know.”

Peggy scoffed. “Oh, please. I can handle myself easily.”

“It’s not that,” Jane said. “You’re a bit…recognizable.”

“Oh,” Peggy said. “Well, there’s no need to worry about that. I’m an espionage agent, remember?” She grinned. “I’m sure I can work out a good disguise.” She disappeared down the hall.

Shuri watched her go from where she sat, surrounded by babies. She leaned forward and picked up Steve. “Do you think they still have their memories?” she asked. “Do they know who they are?”

“I doubt it,” Jane said. “It looks like their baby transformation is pretty complete.” She plucked Sam from the ocean of babies and held him against her shoulder. “I still need to find a way to test which ones still have powers or not.”

“We know Wanda does,” Pepper declared, watching the red-haired baby slowly levitate Steve’s shield. Steve burst into tears, reaching for it.

“Oh, no,” Jane muttered. “Wanda, give it back, please.”

Wanda pushed the shield higher, and Steve cried louder. Bucky suddenly crawled to Wanda and pushed her over. Wanda howled, and the shield clattered to the floor. Shuri picked it up and handed it back to Steve, who grabbed it with a happy coo.

“That’s one way to do it,” Darcy remarked.

“Oh, Bucky, you shouldn’t have done that,” Pepper scolded, picking him up. “No pushing or hitting, got it?"

Bucky yawned and pushed his head into Pepper’s shoulder, clearly unconcerned.

Shuri cuddled Wanda until she stopped crying, then stood up and lifted her brother from the pile of babies. “I’m going to show him to my mother,” she announced, removing his suit.

Peggy suddenly reappeared in the doorway, looking very different and slightly uncomfortable. She now wore a bright pink ball cap, as well as a pink shirt and a pair of jeans. She had also removed her makeup and slipped into a pair of sneakers. Her brown curls were pulled back in a ponytail.

“There was a blond wig I thought about using,” she said, her accent suddenly gone, “but I decided against it.”

“How-“ Pepper started.

Peggy smiled. “Espionage, remember?” she said in a heavy Russian accent. Natasha giggled.

Jane tossed Darcy her keys. “Take my car,” she said. “Tony’s cars are- well-“

“Unnecessarily colorful?” Pepper finished. “Yep.” She fished in her pocket and handed Peggy a credit card. “Tony’s,” she said.

“I have no idea what this is,” Peggy said. “Darcy, will you show me?”

“Sure, Peggy,” Darcy answered. “It’s actually kinda easy.” She looked pleadingly at Jane. “Can we- um- can we take one of the babies with us? Just one?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea-“ Jane started to say, but Peggy was nodding.

“It might help, since we’re going to be buying baby toys,” she said. “Less suspicious.”

“Okay,” Jane relented. “How about you take Thor?”

“He’s wearing armor,” Darcy pointed out. “Are we supposed to pretend we dressed him up in a strangely realistic costume?”

“Good point,” Pepper said. “Let’s see.” She looked at each baby, trying to figure out which one would look normal. “Why don’t you bring Wanda along?” she suggested. “Her outfit’s pretty inconspicuous.”

Peggy scooped Wanda up. “You want to go shopping?” she asked.

Wanda squealed and kicked her legs. A couch pillow lifted off from the couch and floated over Peggy’s head.

The girls looked at each other. “Bad idea,” they said together.

* * *

 

“Look at these!” Darcy cried. She held up a plastic bag, filled with various stuffed animals. “There’s one with zoo animals, one with sea creatures, one with pets…”

Peggy eyed them critically. “How many are in each?” she asked.

“Um…” Darcy read the back. “Look at that. Twelve animals in each.”

“Get all three,” Peggy directed. She frowned as the baby in the cart wailed. “I don’t think she likes this dress.”

Darcy dropped the bags into the cart and hurried over. Natasha sat in the baby seat in the front of the cart, wearing Wanda’s pink dress. She looked very unhappy.

“I think she wants her pistol,” Darcy said. “Good thing it’s back at the tower.” A woman gave them a strange look as she passed.

“Normal babies don’t have pistols or live in towers,” Peggy hissed.

“Sorry,” Darcy mumbled.

Peggy scanned the shelves as she walked slowly down the aisle. “We need toys for different ages, too.” She picked up a black and white mobile. “This might be perfect for Steve. It says newborn to two months on it.” She set it back down. “Not very fun, though.”

Darcy suddenly squealed and picked up a toy. “Look!” she yelped. “It’s a little tool set! I bet Tony would love this!”

“Put it in the cart,” Peggy said, smiling. She was clearly enjoying this shopping trip.

The two girls decided to pick out toys for each of the babies, as well as a few generic ones- a bag of blocks, a box of Lincoln Logs, a tub of Tinker Toys, four boxes of crayons, and a stack of coloring books. Peggy fell in love with a mesh sack of rubber duckies. “These are just solid little chew toys in my time,” she said, dropping it into the cart.

Darcy found a cat-shaped ride-on toy that she claimed was perfect for Wanda.  “It’s a cat!” Darcy exclaimed. “What kind of one and a half year old little girl doesn’t like cats?” She patted the box. “Plus, it says ‘no assembly required’.”

“That would explain how heavy it is,” Peggy huffed, grunting as she slid the box underneath the cart. Darcy laughed.

Then Peggy picked up a small plastic package and read the back. “I think Bucky would love this,” she declared. Darcy squinted.

“It’s…a cow,” she said finally. “A stuffed cow with beads attached that lights up, talks, and sings.” Darcy, like pretty much everyone else in the country, had heard about the Winter Soldier. Somehow, she just couldn’t picture Bucky- even in baby form- with a toy cow.

Peggy hugged it. “I know! It’s perfect!” Darcy decided not to contest the point.

In the next aisle, Darcy found a toy for Thor that was better than anything she could have imagined- a small, plastic basketball hoop that came with plastic basketballs. “He can throw things whenever he wants!” she exclaimed, her mind going back to the adult version of Thor breaking a glass in a small café. “He’s going to love this!” The only drawback to the toy was that it was also too big to fit in the basket of the cart. But, with a little maneuvering, they were able to fit it next to the ride-on cat.

“Since you found something for Thor, why don’t you get something for his brother?” Peggy suggested. Darcy grimaced.

“Loki? He’ll probably destroy whatever we get him- unless it’s something violent.” But she pushed the cart down the aisle, looking for a toy for the baby super-villain. Finally, she found one. “Look at this activity ball,” she called. “Bet he’d love it.”

Peggy inspected the toy. “How is this a ball?” she asked, frowning. “It’s a vaguely spherical mess of colored tubes.” But she chucked it in the cart anyway.

A few minutes later, Peggy pulled a box from one of the shelves. “Pepper said the curly-haired little boy with the glasses was a scientist, right?” she asked.

Darcy nodded. “Why? What’d you find?” She laughed as she saw Peggy’s choice for Bruce- a set of vibrantly colored rubber beakers that stacked together. “Absolutely perfect.”

They found a plastic airplane for Sam, complete with little people to go in it. “This is awesome,” Darcy said as Peggy dropped it into the cart. “I wish I had this when I was a baby.”

“They didn’t have  any  of this when I was a baby,” Peggy replied. She suddenly darted over to a shelf and picked up a cardboard package. “We are getting this for Steve,” she declared.

“A musical sheep?” Darcy protested. “What is your bizarre obsession with farm animals?”

Peggy huffed and put it back. “Fine. This one, then.”

“I guess a monkey’s better,” Darcy conceded.

Two aisles down, she suddenly yanked a rather large box from the bottom shelf. “I had one of these when I was little! Scared me to death. Think Shuri’s brother would like it?”

Peggy read the label. “Corn popper walk and push toy?”

Darcy nodded. “You push it, and it has little balls inside, and they pop up and make a noise like popcorn,” she explained.

Peggy shrugged. “It sounds…interesting. I guess we can try it.” It just barely fit in the cart.

In the same aisle, Peggy found a plastic version of the activity cube that had been in the doctor’s office. “This might be good for Clint,” she offered. “Especially since…since he can’t hear.”

“Oh, yeah,” Darcy agreed. “He’ll have fun with this. And he’ll probably try to shoot it.”

She picked up a cardboard box.

“Hey, what about this for Rhodey?”

Darcy suggested. “It’s one of those plastic boards with the hammer and you bang the pegs into it...” she trailed off as she saw Peggy’s blank  expression. “It’s super fun.” She tossed it into the very full cart.

“Well, that takes care of everyone,” Peggy said. “Everyone except-“

Natasha started crying and wiggling to get out of the cart. “Uh-oh.” Darcy picked her up. “Ow! Tasha, no kicking!” Natasha was making it very clear that she was not happy about being last. She grabbed a piece of Darcy’s brown hair in her tiny fist and yanked.

“Yow!” Darcy shrieked. “Hair pulling? Really? Who raised you?”

“Let her pick out her toy,” Peggy suggested. Darcy lifted Natasha up onto her shoulders.

“Okay, what looks fun, baby?” she asked.

Natasha sniffed and scanned the shelves, her eyes narrowed. Darcy picked up a bright pink package. “How about a Barbie doll?” she suggested, waving it in front of the baby. The six-month-old assassin stuck her tongue out.

“Geez, okay then,” Darcy muttered, placing the doll back on the shelf. “Barbie’s a no.”

* * *

 

“Ms. Potts, Agent Carter and Miss Lewis have returned.”

“Finally!” Pepper hurried to open the door. Darcy grinned at her, triumphantly waving three plastic bags of stuffed animals. Behind her was Peggy, carrying several brightly printed boxes. 

“That’s a lot,” Pepper said, eyes wide. 

“More in the car,” Peggy replied. 

“Where’s Natasha?” Jane asked, appearing beside Pepper.

Darcy made a vague gesture in the direction of the garage. “She’s still in the car. She got to pick out a special toy all by herself!”

“I don’t think she enjoyed wearing Wanda’s dress,” Peggy remarked as Jane brushed past her to get Natasha. “She nearly had a tantrum in the store.”

Pepper laughed and held the door open for the girls. They slipped inside, dumping the toys onto the table and turning to get another load. 

Suddenly, a scream from Jane pierced the air, along with a strange sound.  Pop. Pop. Pop-pop. Pop.

A second later, Jane hollered, “What possessed you two to buy the Black Widow a  Nerf gun?!”


	8. Come and Get It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new toys cause some trouble, and lunchtime isn’t free of bumps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I watched Endgame.  
> I am not okay.  
> I won’t spoil, just in case some of you haven’t seen it, but it’s an emotional K.O., a punch in the feels.  
> Still, it was a great ending to the Avengers.  
> I’m sorry this chapter is so late. I had a bucketload of school work to catch up on, which left pretty much zip writing time. Oh, well. Here I am, and here’s chapter eight of The Babyvengers!

“Have the delivery people shown up yet?” Darcy asked.

Pepper shook her head, dropping the bag of blocks down on the floor. “I am so glad we have these,” she said. “The babies were getting cranky- probably hungry. We had to resort to using Sharpie markers and printer paper to entertain them. You wouldn’t believe it, but Thor’s a surprisingly good artist, even as a two-year-old.” She shook her head. “The walls, though, are never going to recover.”

Shuri popped up from the floor. “I taught my brother the Wakandan alphabet!” she crowed.

“Whoa! All of it?” Darcy asked.

“Well, no. I showed him all of it, but I think he only learned the first two letters. But it’s a start!” She held up a piece of paper covered in strange-looking symbols.

“That’s your alphabet?” Pepper questioned, peering at it. “It looks…complicated.”

“Yes, that is it,” Shuri said. She looked closely at the paper. “Oh. Actually, a few of those are just baby scribbles. But mostly, alphabet.” She grinned. “It might be a bit complicated at first, but it gets easier.”

“I’ll tell you what doesn’t get easier,” Jane said from the doorway. “Handling this basketcase of a baby!” She had Natasha slung over her shoulder, clutching a small Nerf gun. “She ran out of bullets. Thankfully.”

“Um, Jane?” Darcy said. “You have a Nerf bullet welt on your cheek.”

Jane dumped Natasha on the couch, pried the Nerf gun from her hand, and flopped into a chair. “I’m pretty sure she hit every one of my body parts at maximum velocity. _Why_ did you buy her that?”

“She wouldn’t put it down,” Peggy said. “And she bit me when I tried to put it back.”

“The poor cashier had to scan it with her still attached,” Darcy put in. “She has a grip like an octopus.” She ripped open one of the bags of stuffed animals. “This ought to distract them for a while.”

Natasha leaned over and fell off the couch. She crawled shakily over to Jane, gripping the scientist’s pants leg and whining. Jane shook her head. “Oh, no. No Nerf gun for you, young lady.”

Natasha stared at her as if she couldn’t understand her. Jane wagged a finger at the redhead. “You need to learn how to play nice, little girl. Shooting people is not okay, and I can’t believe I just said that to a six-month-old.”

Natasha started trying to climb up Jane’s leg to reach the Nerf gun, sliding down and landing hard on her rear end. She burst into tears, waking up Steve, who had been napping. Naturally, he started to cry too.

“Quick, quiet them down or they’ll all be crying!” Peggy said. “Jane, why don’t you give her the toy pistol? She can’t shoot anyone with that.”

“Yeah, but she’s already hit two of the others over the head with it,” Jane protested. Bucky joined in Steve’s howling, and then Wanda. Jane grabbed the little black pistol and handed it to Natasha, who stopped crying, rolled over, and started chewing it. Shuri distracted Wanda with a few of the blocks, which were soon floating above the little girl’s head. That had the bonus effect of attracting Bucky’s attention, and he was soon giggling and trying to catch the blocks.

Pepper plopped down on the floor, bouncing Steve in her arms. The baby was still crying loudly. Shuri gave him his little shield, but he just hugged it and kept right on wailing.

Darcy grabbed a stuffed animal from the plastic bag. “Let me try,” she said.

Pepper placed Steve on the floor, and Darcy dangled the toy over his head. “Look, Steve,” she cooed, shaking the stuffed animal. “Look, it’s dancing!”

It was like magic. Steve stopped crying and stared at the toy, as if in a trance.

Encouraged, Darcy continued. “It’s flying, Steve! Look! Oooh-oooh! It’s getting closer-“

Steve flung his shield at the stuffed animal, missing by a couple inches and nearly hitting Bruce in the head. Darcy stared at him in shock. “What the heck? Why’d he do that?“

Steve, seeing that he had missed his target, started screaming.

“How are his lungs capable of producing that kind of sound?” Jane shouted, covering her ears. “I thought you had distracted him, Darcy!”

“I did!” Darcy cried. “He was fine for a couple seconds, but now- _gosh,_ he sounds like an angry pterodactyl!”

Bucky crawled over to his friend, making small, happy noises. As soon as he spotted Darcy, however, he joined in Steve’s screaming fit.

“What in the world?” Pepper yelped. “Why are they so upset? Is it- uh, what’s Nat doing?”

Natasha was crawling full speed for Darcy, pistol gripped in one hand. Darcy let out a small shriek, dropped the toy, and scuttled backward. “Why’s she coming after me?”

But Darcy wasn’t the target. Natasha crawled right past her, picked up the stuffed animal, and shoved its head into her mouth, settling back against the couch and gnawing the toy.

Steve’s yells slowly dropped in volume until he was just sniffling. Bucky stopped altogether and curled up next to him.

“The _toy?”_ Darcy exclaimed. “They didn’t like the stuffed animals?” She snatched up another one and dangled it in front of the two babies. Bucky batted it. Steve ignored it. Neither of them cried.

“Why did they get so upset?” Pepper wondered, trying to pull the toy out of Natasha’s mouth. The six-month-old growled and hung on, snarling like a pit bull. Finally, though, Pepper was able to tug it away from her. She held the very wet toy up. “Victory.”

“Let me see that,” Peggy called, hurrying over. She grimaced as Pepper handed her the drippy stuffed animal. “Ah. I think I know why Steve and Bucky were so scared by this one.”

“Why would they be scared of it?” Darcy protested. “It’s a cute little-“

“Octopus,” Peggy finished for her. “A bright red octopus.”

Jane put her hand to her mouth. “Of course! A red octopus is the Hydra symbol! That’s why they got so freaked out!”

Darcy’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? That bag had to include a red octopus? Well, what do we do with it? They’re gonna start crying if they see it again.”

“Natasha seems to like it,” Peggy said, handing it back to the baby, who gurgled happily and stuffed two tentacles into her mouth. “I think, since they saw her eating it, they realized that it’s just a toy. Hopefully, they won’t be scared of it anymore.” She watched Natasha roll over on her back, chewing the octopus with her tiny teeth. “She’s eating everything she can get her hands on. Do you think she’s hungry?”

Luckily, the Walmart delivery arrived a few minutes later. Shuri and Darcy tried to gather all the babies together while Jane, Pepper, and Peggy started work on lunch. Pepper put a pot of water on the stove for mac and cheese, and Jane filled up bottles for the youngest four. Peggy opened two jars of baby food, looking around curiously at the modern gadgets the kitchen was filled with.

“Tony invented most of these,” Pepper told her. “Why he thinks anyone would need a machine that makes French toast automatically, I have no idea. Sometimes I think he designs them to break after a while, just so he can have something to fix.” Something slammed into her legs, and she looked down to find Clint sitting on the floor with a very surprised look on his face. She scooped him up. “Hi, there.”

Shuri poked her head through the doorway. “Did Clint come in- oh, there you are.” She shook her head. “Darcy tried to wash his hands, and he decided that he didn’t want his hands washed. So he took off.”

“Are you being stubborn?” Pepper asked the baby, forgetting that he couldn’t hear anything she was saying. Clint squirmed out of her arms and climbed up to her neck, hanging on to her hair. Pepper winced. “Ouch. Okay, fine, you can stay up there, but if you start causing trouble, out you go,” she told him. Something crashed to the floor in the living room, and Shuri disappeared. A moment later, they heard her shouting. “Let go of my brother, Natasha!”

“Should I go help them?” Jane asked.

Pepper nodded. “Sounds like Tasha’s up to no good again.”

Finally, they managed to get a decent meal made for the babies- shredded chicken and mac and cheese for the older ones, and bottles or baby food for the younger ones. JARVIS proved invaluable in explaining every new thing to Peggy, and even offered cooking assistance a few times. Shuri, Jane, and Darcy soon managed to round up the twelve unruly babies and herd them into the kitchen.

“I hungwy!” Thor announced as soon as he saw food.

“Well, sit down and we’ll dish up lunch,” Pepper told him, disentangling Clint from her hair. “Um…I don’t think the chairs are a good idea. I can see at least four falling off.Should we have them sit on the floor?”

Jane sighed, reaching down and scooping up Sam. “Probably. We’ll have to buy high chairs, booster seats, and beds in the next few days. It’s gonna be a wild ride, turning this place into a nursery.” She set Sam on her shoulders and picked up Loki. “Come on, guys, we’re going to have lunch on the floor in the living room.”

Eight out of twelve babies seemed excited by the idea. Steve and Loki didn’t seem to care, Clint obviously hadn’t heard what Jane had said, and Bruce was asleep in Pepper’s lap.

The women managed to get all the babies (except Steve, Loki, and Natasha, who couldn’t sit up yet) to sit in a circle on the living room floor. Jane found several small bowls and dished up mac and cheese for Rhodey, T’Challa, Sam, Tony, and Thor, while Shuri handed out chicken. Peggy set Bucky and Bruce on her lap and fed them from one of the jars of baby food, while Darcy did the same with Clint. Keeping one eye on the older few, Pepper, Jane, and Shuri sat on the couch to give Loki, Natasha, and Steve their bottles.

There were a few hiccups along the way. Natasha wanted to try everything Clint was eating, Sam nearly choked on a piece of chicken, and Thor and Tony had a small mac and cheese war, which ended with Mjolnir sitting on top of Tony’s bowl until Jane convinced him to move it. T’Challa refused to eat until Shuri let him sit on her lap next to Steve, and Loki spit up on Pepper halfway through his bottle. And Bucky got a little too excited about lunch, grabbed the spoon from Peggy, and accidentally crushed it in his metal hand.

“Weirdest babysitting job ever,” Darcy declared an hour later, when the youngest five were asleep on the couch and the rest were happily playing with the new toys. “I’ve never seen a baby crumple a spoon like tinfoil.”

“It’s not his fault he’s got a metal arm,” Jane answered with a shrug. She started picking up the discarded bowls. “At least it was only one spoon. Nothing else got destroyed.”

“Speak for yourself,” Pepper huffed. “My sweater will never be the same since Loki threw up on it.” She dropped her voice. “And I’m eighty-eight percent sure he did it on purpose. Twelve percent says it was an accident.” She sighed. "Oh, well. At least they're enjoying themselves."

“Meow!” Wanda shouted from her new ride-on cat. “Meow!”

“It’s great that you’re having fun with the toys, sweetheart,” Jane said. “But the younger ones are sleeping. Try to be a little quieter for them, ‘kay?”

Wanda cocked her head and thought about it. “Meow,” she whispered.

Jane smiled and ruffled her auburn hair. “Meow,” she said back, and hurried over to ask Tony to stop banging so loudly with his tool set.

A small, red head popped up from the couch with a whine. “It’s okay,” Pepper soothed. “Go to sleep, Tasha.”

Clint toddled over to the couch and climbed up. Natasha let out a happy squeal as he curled up beside her, and in a few minutes, both of them were fast asleep, piled on top of each other like two puppies.

“Aww,” Jane murmured, coming over. “That’s adorable.” Darcy lifted her phone and snapped a picture.

And then the doorbell rang.


	9. Abracadabra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another visitor to the Tower instigates baby hijinks and shenanigans- and maybe a little magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, this is three weeks late! So sorry, readers. I had some computer trouble which included my laptop’s charging cord breaking. And then I just plain got writer’s block. Our mystery doorbell ringer is hard for me to write.  
> And now, I have good news and bad news. The bad news first: I’m going to orphan this story.
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> Just kidding! I’m not abandoning this anytime soon. But I am going off to camp for a week on Monday, so there won’t be a new chapter until I get back.  
> The good news: I’ll post an extra chapter on either Saturday or Sunday, both to make up for how late this one is, and for my week of no posting. So, double dose! Yay! You guys deserve it.
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> Here’s the very, VERY late next chapter of the Babyvengers!

The adults immediately hushed.

“JARVIS, who is it?” Pepper asked quietly.

 “ _Mr. Scott Lang, Ms. Potts_ ,” JARVIS answered.

 “Who’s that?” Darcy asked, frowning. 

“Ant-Man, I think,” Jane answered. She stepped forward and opened the door.

“Hey! Hi. You’re Pepper, right? Pepper Potts?”

“Sorry, I’m actually Jane Foster,” Jane said.

“Oh! Thor’s girlfriend! Hi! I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

Pepper came to the rescue, letting a flustered Jane off the hook. “Hi, Mr. Lang. I’m Pepper Potts.”

“Hi, Ms. Potts. I’m Scott Lang. But you just said my name, so you knew that already. Sorry. Um, Nick Fury told me to come here. I’m not sure why, but he said there was a  that he wanted Hank Pym working on, and that I should check it out. So, I did, and now I’m here. Wow, this place is huge!” 

“Everything Tony builds is huge,” Pepper joked. “Come on in. And call me Pepper, please. ‘Ms. Potts’ makes me feel like a Disney character.”

“Okay, but only if you call me Scott,” he said.

Pepper held the door open for him. “Just watch your step around the-“

“Babies!” Scott yelled. “Oh, my gosh! Why is Avengers Tower full of babies? Is this the situation Fury was telling me about? Did Stark raid a daycare or something? Do the Avengers know about this?”

“Well…” Jane replied awkwardly. “These…are the Avengers.”

“The- the babies are the Avengers?” Scott stammered. “Wow. I’m used to me being the only person to shrink. How did that happen?”

“We don’t really know,” Pepper answered, as Shuri came over holding Sam, who had gotten fussy. “It just- happened. And, by the way, shrinking suit off. We’ve dealt with enough tiny humans for one day.”

Scott obliged, and then smiled at Shuri. “Hi. I’m Scott.”

“I am Princess Shuri of Wakanda,” Shuri answered. “It is nice to meet you.”

“Wow! You’re an actual princess! That’s so cool! Do you live in a palace?”

Shuri smiled. “More or less.”

Scott flung himself to the floor in the middle of the babies. “These are some sweet toys! Cassie would have loved that cat when she was younger.” He dodged one of Clint’s suction-cup arrows, which hit T’Challa instead. “Hey, Arrow Guy! How old is he? And which ones are which?”

Darcy took a deep breath. “Arrow Guy- Clint- is a year old. Wanda, the one in pink, is eighteen months. Cap’s the one on the end of the couch. He’s the youngest, just two months. His friend-“

“Hey! I know that guy!” Scott broke in. “The dude with the metal arm! Wow, he’s tiny. Sorry, what were you saying?”

“Bucky’s eight months old,” Darcy continued. “The one throwing the basketball- _watch_ _it_!- is Thor. He’s two. His brother Loki’s over there, eating a…is that Nat’s pistol?”

“Oh, no,” Jane muttered. “At least she’s still asleep.” 

“Okay. Moving on. Loki’s four months old, and Natasha, the other redhead, is six months.”

“Oh, yeah,” Scott said. “I remember her. She kicked me in the knee once. And then she shocked me. Why does she have a pistol, anyway?” 

“Long story. Bruce is ten months- he’s the little one with the blocks- and Tony’s twenty-two months. You met him, right?”

Scott nodded. “Yep. I pretended to be his conscience while I ripped out the wires in his suit. It was awesome.”

“Sounds fun,” Darcy said uncertainly. “This one, Rhodey, is fourteen months. And-“

Shuri grabbed T’Challa and held him up. “This is my brother, T’Challa!”

Scott’s jaw dropped. “Whoa, no way! That’s the creepy panther dude?”

Shuri frowned. “He is not _creepy_ ,” she huffed, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at Scott.

“And finally,” Darcy continued quickly, “we have Sam, who’s twenty months.”

Scott started laughing. “Are you kidding? He’s so little! Can I hold him?” 

Pepper shrugged. “Sure.”

Scott gripped Sam around his waist and lifted him up in the air, laughing hysterically. “Hey, Falcon!” he said, making Sam “fly.” “Who’s Tic-Tac now, huh?”

“Okay, I’m gonna get going,” Jane said. “I need to run to the store.”

“We already went shopping,” Darcy pointed out.

“I know,” Jane answered, “but we’ll need pajamas and bedtime equipment for later on. Peggy, you want to come with me?” 

Peggy shrugged. “Sure. I’m eager to see more of the future.” 

Jane checked the time on her phone. “Wow, four forty-five already. We’ll probably need to feed the babies again soon.” She scooped up her keys and opened the door. “Be back with pj’s!” she called, as she and Peggy left.

Pepper hopped up, putting Steve in Darcy’s arms. “I’ll get started on dinner. Scott, can you entertain the babies for a bit?”

Scott grinned and held up a pack of cards. “Magic, anyone?”

* * *

“And for my next trick…” Scott produced the deck of cards from his sleeve with a dramatic flourish. “You, the little lady in the front row! Pick a card, any card! Ah, you’ve chosen- no, hey, give that back! Don’t eat the card!”

Pepper stifled a laugh as she watched the chaotic scene. Scott was playing tug-of-war with Natasha, who had one of his cards in her mouth. She tried to swat his hand but ended up falling flat on her face. Scott gasped in horror as the tiny assassin burst into loud wails.

“Oh, no, no, no, it’s okay! Don’t cry! Here, you can eat the card- _ow_! Teeth!” Scott dove for the bags of stuffed animals, snatching up several at once. “Hey, look at this! You wanna see some juggling?”

Scott proceeded to juggle the toys, twisting his face comically as he pretended to lose his rhythm. Natasha sniffed and watched, a small smile beginning to appear on her tear-streaked face.

Encouraged, Scott hammed up his routine, attracting the attention of several more babies. “And they go round and round and round and…oops!” He let a stuffed lion fall onto his head, groaning dramatically. Natasha giggled, clapping her hands. Scott scooped up the lion with his foot, tossing it back up into his hand, and then let all the toys fall. As the last one hit his shoulder, he clutched his chest as if he had been stabbed. “Ahhhh! Ooooh, it got me!” He collapsed onto the floor.

Natasha lay flat on her back, laughing. Clint crawled over to Scott, examining his prostrate form. Suddenly, Scott bolted upright. “Boo!” he yelled. Clint stared at him. Scott looked disappointed. “Aw, why didn’t that work?” 

“He is deaf,” Shuri said from the couch, where she had been pretending not to watch Scott’s over-the-top performance. “He didn’t hear you.”

“Wow, really? I didn’t know that,” Scott replied, surprised. “He seemed fine when we fought the other heroes at the airport.”

“Yes, including my _creepy_ brother,” Shuri said pointedly. “Clint has hearing aids as an adult.” 

Scott rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh…look, I’m sorry I said that about T’Challa. I was mostly kidding.”

Shuri flashed a grin. “So am I,” she told him. “I’m not mad at you. T’Challa often comes across as creepy to criminals.”

Scott looked offended. “I’m not a criminal,” he protested.

“Weren’t you in jail for a while?” Shuri pointed out. “And I seem to remember something about house arrest.”

Scott slumped against the couch. “Touché.”

Shuri laughed. “Got you back.” She picked up a stuffed animal from the floor and tossed it at him. 

“Ow!” Scott jumped up, grabbed a giraffe, and lobbed it back at her.

 Shuri pounded a cat against her palm, trying to look menacing. “Oh, it is on.”

When Pepper came in half an hour later with dinner, she gasped. “What in the world?”

The babies who could get around were crawling, walking, or running wildly around, picking up stuffed animals and throwing them at whoever was in range. Clint and Natasha had taken refuge behind the rocking chair, collecting stockpiles of toys and then launching volleys at anyone who came too close. Bruce and Steve were curled up on the couch, Steve’s shield offering a small measure of protection from the flying toys. T’Challa and Wanda were on the bookshelf, targeting Scott and Shuri. Thor was the odd one out, launching basketballs instead of stuffed animals, not seeming to care that his aim was horrible.

A stuffed seal sailed through the air and landed next to Loki. The baby picked it up, examined it, and let fly. At the same moment, Clint popped from behind the rocking chair to grab another toy. The seal hit him in the eye. 

Clint howled. Shuri and Scott let their projectiles fall. Natasha tore out of her hiding place and dove for Loki, screaming a war cry. Pepper caught her around the waist before murder could be committed and glared at the two adult culprits.

“Sorry,” Scott said, hanging his head. “My fault.”

“No, I started it,” Shuri countered from the floor, where she was consoling Clint. “It was my fault.”

Pepper sighed. “Look, it’s fine, guys. Just we’d better not do it again, or one of the babies could get seriously hurt.” She turned to Shuri. “Is Clint okay?”

“I think he will be all right,” Shuri responded. “It was a pretty soft seal.” She cradled the baby archer in her arms and set him on the couch. Natasha whined until Shuri picked her up and put her next to Clint.

Pepper sighed again, shaking her head. “I brought dinner,” she said, holding up a large serving tray with several small plates on it. “But I forgot to make the bottles for the younger ones. Darcy, could you take care of that while I set up- Darcy? Darcy, where’d you go?”

Darcy’s muffled voice came from inside the hallway bathroom. “We’re in here,” she said. “Tony and I locked ourselves in here when the war started. We’re drawing.” 

“Well, you can come out now,” Pepper answered. “The two ringleaders surrendered and all weapons have been laid down.” 

Darcy unlocked the bathroom door and stuck her head out. “Great, it’s over,” she sighed in relief. “Okay, I’ll go make the bottles.” 

“Hey, Pepper?” Scott stood in front of her, a hopeful look on his face.

“Yes, Scott?” Pepper asked.

Scott shifted from one foot to the other. “Have you ever heard the phrase ‘dinner and a show’?” he asked.

Pepper smiled. “Yes, I have, and yes, you can do more of your tricks while the babies eat. But don’t saw anyone in half.”

Scott grinned. “Thanks,” he said eagerly. “I’ve got this great one with a magic hat- or ball cap, as the case may be.” He held up the ball cap Peggy had been wearing earlier. “And don’t worry. No saws were included in the making of these tricks. But at the end, you’ll be glad you _saw_ them!” He chuckled at his own joke.

Pepper rolled her eyes, not quite resisting a laugh of her own, and took a head count of the babies. “Okay, we’re missing Bucky, Wanda, and Tony,” she said.

Shuri tugged Bucky out from behind a potted plant. “Wanda’s under the table,” she said, pulling Steve onto her lap next to Bucky. 

Wanda was playing with a stuffed cat, making tiny meowing noises and pretending to have a conversation with the toy. When Pepper fished her out from under the table, she refused to let go of it.

“Sweetheart, we’re going to go eat dinner,” Pepper explained. “The kitty will be waiting when we’re done, okay?”

Wanda frowned and hugged it to her chest. “Kitty!” she protested.

Pepper exhaled slowly. “Okay, you can bring the kitty with you,” she relented. “But he has to stay next to you while you’re eating.”

Wanda nodded, her brown eyes shining. “Kitty,” she murmured happily, as Pepper led her back to the living room. 

“Okay, that’s eleven out of twelve,” Pepper said. “Darcy, can you grab Tony from the bathroom?” 

Darcy jumped up and went to get him. Scott stood up and cleared his throat. “Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, it is I, the amazing Scott-dini, world-renowned magician! For my first trick tonight, I will-“

“Uh-oh,” Darcy said from the bathroom. Scott paused.

“Uh-oh?” Pepper went to investigate. “What’s uh-oh?”

“Um…” Darcy looked upset. “I may have left Tony alone with a Sharpie marker.”

“Uh-oh,” Pepper muttered. She picked up Tony and gasped.

In the space of five minutes, Tony had taken a Sharpie to his face, somehow drawing a fairly good representation of his adult self’s facial hair.

Pepper rushed from the bathroom. “Shuri! Wipes!” she yelled. “Tony colored on his face!” 

Shuri reached behind her and grabbed the small package they had been using to clean up after lunch and tossed it to Pepper, a huge grin on her face. 

“Yeet!”

 

 


	10. Lights Out In The Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedtime for the babies becomes a little hectic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, folks! The last chapter of Babyvengers before I disappear to Oklahoma for camp!!  
> Oh, and cool little fact: all the baby pj’s are real pj’s from Walmart! *not a sponsor*

Pepper was surprised that dinner went as smoothly as it did. Scott’s plethora of magic tricks kept the older ones so fascinated that they had to be reminded to eat, while his juggling and comedy routines drew the younger babies’ attention. Even the adults found themselves laughing at Scott’s exaggerated performance.

 

“You’re hired,” Pepper said to him as she vacuumed the rug. “We only had one baby throw food the whole time.” She smirked slightly. “And to be perfectly honest, everyone knew he was going to do that anyway.”

 

“Could have warned me,” Scott muttered, playfully glaring at the new stain on his shirt and then at the baby in his arms. Loki stared up at him, unblinking. “Pepper, this one is creepy,” Scott complained, passing the baby off to her. She put him on one of the armchairs, picked up a stuffed animal from the floor and handed it to him, hoping he wouldn’t try to destroy it. The baby supervillain carefully examined the toy rabbit. Pepper put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing as Loki’s eyes crossed. Satisfied, he tucked the rabbit next to him and went to sleep, curling himself up like a cat.

 

Soon, most of the babies were napping on various couches and chairs. The exceptions were Clint, who was staring out the window again, Natasha, who had made off with the blocks, and Thor, who was trying to balance on top of a basketball for more than three seconds. Pepper, Shuri, Darcy, and Scott got the living room tidied up in record time, and sat down at the table to wait for Jane and Peggy to come back with pajamas. The Tower was peaceful for the first time all day- until Thor’s basketball crashed into Natasha’s stack of blocks. The blocks tumbled down, and Natasha sent up an earsplitting wail. Darcy jumped up to help, but before she could, Thor picked up two of the blocks and set one on top of the other. Natasha slowly picked up another block and put it on top of the other two, her tears drying up. Within a few minutes, both babies were happily building a block tower, knocking it down, and then building it again.

 

“We’re back!” Jane called a few minutes later, holding the door open for Peggy. “We come bearing pajamas.”

 

“As well as a lot of truck that Jane claimed was necessary,” Peggy added, tossing the bags to the floor and dropping into a chair.

 

Jane rolled her eyes. “Diapers,” she said. “Toothbrushes, toothpaste, diapers, and pajamas.” She sighed. “I recommend we just skip baths and everything tonight and go straight to bedtime. We can drag all the beds into one of the big rooms in case anyone’s scared of being alone or anything. We’ll have to remove the bedding, though- babies can smother easily.” She scanned the sleeping babies, smiling when she saw Thor and Natasha. “On second thought, Thor’s probably old enough. Maybe Sam. Definitely _not_ Steve.”

 

With Pepper’s permission, Scott used shrink discs to make twelve beds the size of dollhouse furniture. It took some help from JARVIS and a scouting mission around the Tower before they found a large, empty room on the third floor, with several smaller rooms close to it. “We can use these for our bedrooms,” Jane said. “I mean, we can’t leave the babies here by themselves.”

 

“Um, I didn’t bring anything except my phone and my taser,” Darcy commented.

 

“You have a taser?” Scott exclaimed. “I’m shocked!” He snorted while everyone else groaned.

 

“I’ll call Happy,” Pepper said. “I’ll ask him to run by Jane’s house and pick up her stuff and Darcy’s, and then bring some of my stuff back, too.”

 

“Didn’t you stay over here last night?” Jane asked.

 

Pepper nodded. “I did, but all of Peggy’s stuff is back in the 1940’s. Peggy, do you mind borrowing some of my pajamas?”

 

“Sure,” Peggy replied. “I think I’m getting used to the future. Might as well start dressing like it.”

 

“Hopefully, I can find a way to send you back,” Jane said. “Oh, I had a breakthrough, by the way. Tony’s beard confirmed something.”

 

Tony’s Sharpie beard had refused to wash off. They had used everything they could find to try to get it off, but it stuck firm. Finally, Pepper had figured it out. Adult Tony had apparently invented unwashable Sharpies so his design plans wouldn’t get ruined if he spilled things on them. They worked. Very well. Baby Tony now had permanent Sharpie facial hair.

 

“Steve and Bucky were afraid of the Hydra octopus,” Jane explained. “And Tony drew on his facial hair pretty perfectly.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I think they have their memories- at least some of them. They might not know what exactly they’re remembering, but they do remember.”

 

“Great,” Pepper muttered. “So, let me guess. Loki’s going to take over the Tower and Natasha’s first words are going to be in Russian?”

 

Jane shrugged. “I don’t know if all of them have their memories, or even exactly how much they remember of their adult lives. But it’s a start. I need to tell Fury’s scientists about this before he gets on my case.”

 

Scott's shrink discs made it easy to set up a bedroom for the babies, and then to move beds into the smaller rooms for Shuri, Jane, Darcy, Pepper, and Peggy. Scott wouldn’t be staying overnight, but he had volunteered to run errands for the girls if they needed it. Using more discs, he turned the full-sized beds into more baby appropriate ones.

Then he helped bring the babies into the bedroom. Some were more compliant than others. Natasha went deadweight, Clint squeezed under the couch, Loki screamed all the way from the living room to the bedroom, Bucky wouldn’t leave Steve, and Shuri was the only one who could get within a ten-foot radius of T’Challa. But, after thirty-seven minutes of fighting stubborn babies (and one incident where Thor managed to escape the third floor entirely) all the babies were in one room. Darcy had distributed stuffed animals among them, and Peggy had stripped nine out of twelve beds of everything but sheets.

 

“All right,” Scott said when they were finished, looking around the room. “I should probably get home, but I’ll pop in tomorrow morning and see how everything’s going. Bye, Tic-Tac Two!” He waved at Sam and disappeared down the hall.

 

Jane rubbed her hands together. “Okay, first order of business- let’s split up the babies. If each of us has charge over a few babies, we won’t get in each other’s way trying to take care of all of them. There’s twelve babies and five of us. I suggest that me and Pepper each take three, and Shuri, Darcy, and Peggy can take two each.” Everyone agreed, and the babies were soon divided among the women. Jane had Steve, Loki, and Thor. Pepper took Tony, Rhodey, and Clint. Shuri picked T’Challa and Wanda, Darcy got Bucky and Natasha, and Peggy had Sam and Bruce.

 

“All right, second order of business,” Jane declared next. “It is time to unveil the pajamas!” She unwrapped several brightly colored packages and opened them. “The younger six all have these little footie sleeper things,” she explained. “We got two-piece sets for the older half.”

 

The pajamas were absolutely adorable. Jane took a light blue sleeper with dark blue stripes for Steve, a gray and white striped one for Loki, and an orange and green two-piece set for Thor, which had a dinosaur on the front. Pepper took one look at a pajama set that featured six animal heads wearing party hats and the words “PARTY ANIMALS” and claimed it for Tony. She also took a set covered in gray emojis for Rhodey, and nobody questioned which baby got the gray sleeper with the purple arrows on it. Shuri picked a set that had jungle animals on it in blue for her brother, and a set that had a cat head on the front surrounded by rainbow stars for Wanda. Darcy claimed two sleepers for Bucky and Natasha, one black with white stars and the other purple with teal stars. Peggy took a bright blue set with an octopus wearing headphones for Sam, and a tan sleeper covered in blue elephants for Bruce.

 

When Happy rang the doorbell, Pepper answered it and managed to convince him that everything was okay, no, she did not need him to act as bodyguard, thank you for the offer, goodbye, Happy.

 

“We’re going to have to tell him soon,” she said, sitting back down.

 

“We’ve got something else to do first,” Jane told her. “Third order of business. Diapers. Immediately.”

* * *

At approximately eight forty-five p.m., the girls managed to get all twelve babies in bed and sleepy. It hadn’t been an easy process. Shuri had had to literally wrestle T’Challa into his pajamas, Thor escaped down the hall (again), Loki managed to hide for twenty minutes before Jane found him under one of the beds, Clint insisted on climbing the bedposts like a monkey, and Wanda figured out that she could throw pillows with her powers. Bucky managed to wiggle out of his sleeper multiple times, Steve wanted to sleep with his shield (Jane let him have it next to the bed, but not in the bed), Tony had somehow gotten ahold of the Sharpies again and nearly drew a mustache on Sam, and Natasha cried when Darcy took off her leotard and tutu.

 

Finally, though, everyone was in bed. Jane and Peggy covered the floor with a sea of pillows (once Wanda had stopped throwing them) in case any of the babies fell out of their beds during the night. “We really need cribs,” Jane worried. “This isn’t very safe.”

Pepper yawned. “It’s all we’ve got right now,” she said. “We’ll get high chairs, day clothes, cribs, and all that kind of stuff as we get used to this.” She yawned again. “Okay, it’s been a long, weird day. I think we need a good night’s sleep as much as the babies do.”

 

Peggy and Jane offered to take the two bedrooms closest to what they had begun calling the ‘baby room.’ Everyone else sorted out the other single bedrooms, and at ten thirty, the girls were finally in bed, and every light was turned off. Then a light was turned back on, because Bruce was apparently scared of the dark. They put a dim lamp in the corner of the baby room to serve as a nightlight.

 

Several hours later, something woke Pepper up. It took her a few minutes before soft whimpers reached her ears. Careful not to wake up anyone else, she slipped into the baby room. “Okay, who’s doing that?” she whispered. “Is someone having a bad dream?” She walked over to the source of the sounds and soon realized who it was.

 

Bucky's big, blue eyes were full of tears, and his bottom lip wobbled dangerously. His arms reached up toward Pepper. "Teev!" he whimpered.

 

Pepper leaned down and lifted the baby up. "What's the matter, little one?" she murmured. "You've had your bottle, your diaper's been changed...what's wrong?"

 

Bucky stared into her eyes, his lip quivering. His face screwed up, and he burst into tears.

 

Pepper rocked him gently. "Oh, poor thing," she said. She jiggled him up and down, trying to calm him. Bucky just cried harder, wailing piteously. "Teev!" he wept.

 

Pepper bit her lip. If he didn't quiet down, soon all twelve babies would be up and crying. 

 

Peggy shuffled in, her short, curly hair tied at the nape of her neck. Darcy, Jane, and Shuri trailed behind her. "What's going on?" Darcy asked sleepily.

 

Pepper shifted the sobbing baby to her shoulder, his tears wetting the fabric of her pajama top. "Bucky won't go to sleep," she sighed. "He's crying, but I don't know what to do with him. Do you think he's teething?"

 

"Teev!" Bucky wailed, kicking his feet.

 

Peggy reached out her hands. "He isn't teething. I know what he wants," she said. Pepper transferred Bucky to her.

 

Peggy turned, walked over to Steve's bed, and plopped Bucky down beside him. Steve opened one eye, yawned, and went back to dreamland. Bucky immediately stopped crying. He scooted closer to Steve, flopped his flesh arm over him, tucked his metal thumb into his mouth, and fell asleep.

 

The five girls stood around the crib, watching the two sleeping infants.

 

"Is that a tetanus risk?" Jane asked finally.

 

 

 


	11. Unexpected Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls get more visitors to the Tower...and they’re the kind you can’t ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOA THIS IS SOOO LATE!! Sorry, guys. I was exhausted from camp, and then we have VBS this week, which I volunteer for. So I’ve been running all over creation chasing down 24 kindergarteners on a sugar high. Not exactly ideal writing conditions, but I managed to get this next chapter FINALLY done.   
> Here’s chapter eleven of the Babyvengers!

“Clint, no shooting at the table!”

“Who spilled the milk?”

“Get that pistol away from Natasha!”

“Sam! Off the table!”

“JARVIS, how much cereal can kill a small child? I’m pretty sure Thor’s halfway there!”

“T’Challa! Put that down!”

Twenty minutes in, and the morning was already absolutely crazy. Bucky, Wanda, and Loki had all woken up wailing, and all of the babies had needed their diapers changed. Pepper had plans to buy slightly more normal baby clothes later, but for now, most of the babies had been redressed in the baby versions of their super suits (sans tutu for Natasha.) Jane and Peggy had gotten bowls of cereal ready for the babies- and the sounds of breakfast had begun. Thor had already downed seven bowls of cereal and was halfway through an eighth. Natasha had found her pistol under the table and was trying to whack anyone in reach. Loki had spit up on Darcy (no one thought it was an accident, and judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t.) And Clint had shot Steve in the chest, which set off another asthma attack.

“This is bloody ridiculous,” Peggy huffed. “Instead of stealing candy from babies, I just had to collect weapons from them.”

“Most babies aren’t this dangerous,” Darcy replied. “I mean, look at this. We have two ex-soldiers, three assassins, and two Asgardians. Weapons are actually pretty tame for them.” A spoonful of soggy Cheerios struck underneath her eye. “Who did that? Clint, you little brat!”

Clint giggled and flung another glob of cereal, which splattered against the window.

“You have good aim,” Shuri praised the baby. “But we eat cereal, we don’t yeet cereal.”

Everyone groaned. “I don’t understand what you just said,” Peggy remarked. “But yes, no more food throwing.” She eyed Thor, who slowly lowered his spoon.

“When did Scott say he was coming back?” Jane asked.

“Not until this afternoon,” Pepper said. “I sent him a list of groceries and stuff we need, and he’s bringing it by. He also said that once we get used to this, he’ll bring Cassie by for a playdate.”

“The babies will love that!” Peggy responded, smiling. Steve’s bottle slipped out of his mouth, and she bent to readjust it. “There you go, Stevie.”

“It feels so weird to think that you’re holding Captain America on your lap,” Pepper sighed. “I can’t wrap my head around the fact that we have babies in here who have literally murdered people. I mean, what other moms can say that?”

The room went completely silent.

“You called yourself _Mom,_ ” Darcy whispered. “It’s official.”

“You’re a mom, Pep!” Jane cheered.

Pepper plucked Tony from his seat. “Oh, boy,” she muttered. “I’ve switched from girlfriend to mother.”

“Well, if you’ve done that, then I’ve switched from _sister_ to mother,” Shuri put in with a bright grin.

“I’ve gone from an espionage agent in the 1940’s to a mum in the 21st century, “ Peggy added.

“Yeah, all of that sounds weird,” Darcy summed up, holding a wiggling Clint at arms’ length. “You’re being a troublemaker today! What do you want?” Clint screeched, trying to squirm out of her grip. “You want to look out the window again?” Darcy suggested, setting the baby on the windowsill and pulling the curtains aside. Clint immediately went quiet, pressing his nose to the glass.

“We should probably schedule those appointments for Clint’s hearing aids and the other babies’ second check-ups,” Pepper said. “JARVIS, can you remind us to do that?”

 _“Of course, Ms. Potts,”_ JARVIS replied. _“I shall make a note of it.”_

Clint suddenly let out a pterodactyl-esque yell, waving out the window. “What is it, buddy?” Darcy asked, going over to him.

 _“Ms. Potts, there appears to have been-“_ JARVIS started, but Darcy interrupted him.

“Jane, the Bifrost just opened on the lawn!”

“Shuri, stay here and watch the older babies,” Jane directed quickly. “Pepper, Peggy, Darcy, grab Nat, Bucky, Loki, and Steve and follow me. Let’s see what Asgard wants.” The girls picked up the four youngest babies and rushed out of the Tower.

Pepper stared in confusion at the four strangers standing on the burnt lawn. All of them wore Asgardian clothing and very unhappy faces. One was a big, broad warrior with a curly red beard spilling over his chest and a battle axe over his shoulder. Next to him stood a stocky man with spiky black hair, a mace dangling from his fist, and a slim man with a blond beard and a sword. In front of all of them was a young woman with a dark ponytail and a scowl.

“Lady Sif and the Warriors Three!” Jane greeted them. “What brings you back to our realm?”

“Jane,” Sif acknowledged with a slight incline of her head. “We are not here on pleasant terms, unfortunately. Heimdall has seen what has happened to the Avengers. Some matter of sorcery or some such occurrence has turned your heroes into-“ she eyed Bucky, sitting in Darcy’s arms. “Children, infants really. Normally, we would not be concerned with such a trivial matter, but Heimdall has informed us that Thor was one of those affected.”

Jane winced. “Yes, um…he’s three now.”

“Let us see him,” Sif ordered.

Jane went into the Tower and returned a few minutes later, leading Thor by the hand. The toddler waved when he saw his fellow Asgardians.

For just a second, a look that plainly said _how adorable_ flitted across Sif’s face, but she quickly put her warrior mask back up. “Three of your mortal years old,” she said. “He is the oldest of the babies in the Tower?”

“I’m not even going to question how you know that,” Pepper muttered.

“Heimdall sees all,” the blond man said.

Sif folded her arms across her chest. “The Allfather has decided to allow Thor to remain with you and the rest of the Avengers,” she informed them. “However, there is another matter that must be discussed.”

“What is it?” Jane asked.

Sif strode over to Peggy. The short British woman seemed completely unintimidated by the imposing young warrior. But Sif’s gaze wasn’t on Peggy.

“The trickster,” she said, looking at the baby in Peggy’s arms.

“Loki?” Jane questioned with a frown. “What about him?”

“He is a criminal,” Sif stated. “Even as an infant, Loki is still far too dangerous to be allowed to remain here on Earth. The only reason he was here in the first place is because Thor was able to watch him and prevent him from using his magic to harm Earth. But now that Thor is a baby, he cannot keep his brother from trouble.”

“But Loki is a baby, too,” Jane pointed out. “He can’t even use his magic.”

Sif frowned. “You underestimate the trickster,” she answered. “Loki is a master of magic. The late queen taught him everything she knew, and he learned much more by himself. There are few sorcerers that can rival his skills.” Loki shifted in Peggy’s arms and started wailing. Sif sighed and continued, raising her voice to be heard. “Any Asgardian can look into his eyes and see it beneath the surface. He most certainly still has his magic- whatever spell or device that was used to turn the heroes into babies could not remove it, at least not completely.”

“He hasn’t used it yet,” Pepper told her.

Sif raised her eyebrow slightly. “He will. Make no mistake about that.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “To prevent Loki from doing any mischief on your world, we have orders to take him back to Asgard, where he will be placed in the dungeons once again.”

Darcy groaned. “How many more people are going to try to take these kids?”

Peggy bounced Loki up and down, trying to get him to stop crying. “Shh, baby, it’s all right,” she murmured. Loki gave her a scornful glare and increased the volume of his screams by about ten decibels. Two of the warriors winced. Peggy raised her chin. “I will admit, he is by far the most evil of the babies,” she said. “But if all you’re planning to do is lock him up…” she sighed. “I’m afraid we simply can’t allow that.”

Sif’s chocolate brown eyes were hard. “We have our orders,” she snapped, glaring at the women. “We do not wish to use force, and we do not wish to harm any of you.” For just a brief instant, her gaze flicked to Jane. “But if we are prevented from carrying out our sworn duty, we will have to take unpleasant measures.”

* * *

 

Half an hour later, all four Asgardians were on the living room floor, playing with the babies. Sif had Steve clasped in her arms, laughing as Natasha examined her broadsword. The black-haired one, who Jane had introduced as Hogun, was being climbed on by Clint, Sam, Tony, and Wanda. The blond man, who was named Fandral, was fascinated by the unfamiliar toys, particularly the corn popper and the musical cow. T’Challa was sitting in his lap, chewing on a plastic hamburger and squealing at every noise. Bucky lay in front of him, content to just watch, sucking his metal thumb. Volstagg, the redhead, was helping Thor, Rhodey, and Wanda cook up some very interesting meals with the toy food, his bellowing laugh ringing out over the room every so often.

Jane and Peggy stood to the side. Jane was smirking as she watched the scene. “The power of puppy dog eyes,” she said. “Works every time.”

Peggy looked down at the sleepy trickster in her arms. Loki was quiet now, chewing on his toy rabbit’s ear. His leaf-green eyes were drooping. “He’ll be asleep in a few minutes,” Peggy guessed. “Who knew he could be adorable if he wanted to?”

“I think he can do just about anything if he wants to,” Jane answered. “I met him once before, and he seemed pretty capable.” She pointed. “Look at that. The fierce warrior reputation is getting a little tarnished.”

Sif was flat on her back on the living room floor, holding Natasha above her head. The baby assassin was squealing and kicking her legs in the air. “Oh, look at you!” Sif cooed. “You’re flying! You’d make a fine Valkyrie, little one!” Natasha giggled, flapping her arms and beaming at the black-haired young woman.

“Ha!” Volstagg suddenly roared. “Who knew you were such a fine cook, young Thor?” He held up a plastic plate filled with toy food. Thor grinned at him and hit him in the nose with a pear. Volstagg dropped the plate, grabbed a carrot, and returned fire. Seconds later, a plastic food fight was in full swing.

Hogun was suddenly abandoned as the babies that had been using him as a jungle gym joined in the throwing. Clint and Rhodey hid behind the table and launched volleys of peas, Sam flung plastic potato chips, Wanda sat on Volstagg’s leg and pounded his thigh with a drumstick, and Tony opted to throw bacon strips and eggs.

Two minutes later, Volstagg had the full contents of a fruit basket dumped on his head by a joint team of Natasha and Sif, who retreated behind the couch, laughing hysterically at his shocked face. Hogun and Fandral sided with the redheaded warrior, retaliating against the two girls by pelting them with noodles. Shuri cheered her brother on as he tossed French fries, but unfortunately, his aim was horrible. He didn’t actually manage to hit anyone except Hogun, who had stepped back to avoid one of Sif’s fast-flying vegetables and had been grazed by T’Challa’s fries.

“All right, all right, cease and desist!” Sif finally hollered. “Warriors, we must return to Asgard!” She gave Natasha a little kiss goodbye as Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg gathered up the food and returned it to the plastic bag. The older babies waved and yelled as the Asgardians marched out of the Tower, their faces slightly sad. The younger four simply watched.

“Heimdall!” Sif called, and with a flash of rainbow and white, they were gone.

Darcy let out a deep breath. “So, we managed to distract them from arresting Loki. Mission success!”

“Um, not entirely,” Jane said, frowning. “Where _is_ Loki?”

 

 


	12. Old Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magic and mischief are on the loose in the Tower!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, how is this story twelve chapters long already?! It seems like just yesterday, I was sitting on my bed, staring at my newly published story, praying that it would get a few kudos and maybe, maybe, a comment. And lo and behold, you guys have left 143 comments on this story!! I can’t thank you guys enough, whether you left judos, comments, bookmarked Babyvengers, or simply read the story. And now, since that sounded suspiciously like I was ending this story, REST ASSURED, it is not over!! I’ve got at least another twenty chapters to go on this!  
> Speaking of that, here’s chapter twelve, made especially for all those weird people who want me to be nicer to Loki. *sigh* It wasn’t easy, but here you go.

“Loki!” Pepper cupped her hands around her mouth. “Loki! Come out here, sweetheart!” She looked up to where the Bifrost had vanished into the sky, worry painting her face. “Do you think he got pulled up with them?”

Jane shook her head. “He was right next to me. We would have seen him go over there.”

“That black-haired chick said that he uses magic,” Darcy commented. “He might have made himself invisible.”

“First of all, I really wouldn’t call Lady Sif a _chick,_ ” Jane told her. “And second, I’m still not sure about the whole magic deal. I mean, Loki’s only four months old. He can’t even crawl yet. There’s no way he could have made himself invisible.”

Peggy crossed her arms, her forehead furrowing. “I still don’t understand,” she said. “Why were those people so intent on taking Loki back to- wherever they came from?”

“It’s a long story,” Pepper sighed. “In our time, Loki is a dangerous criminal. Two years ago, he invaded Earth with the Tesseract and an army of aliens called the Chitauri. He wanted to take over Earth and unite it under his rule.”

Peggy huffed. “He’s another Johann Schmidt.”

Pepper blinked. “Who?”

“The Red Skull,” Peggy explained. “He was Steve’s enemy back in my time.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of him,” Darcy put in. “Creepy Nazi psycho, right?”

Peggy gave her a strange look.

“Anyway, back to Loki,” Pepper continued. “Nick Fury- that would be the guy with the eyepatch, the one who tried to take the babies away- assembled the Avengers, a group of heroes, to stop Loki. He chose Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Hawkeye, Thor, and Black Widow. They halted the invasion, and Thor- he’s Loki’s brother, by the way, I’m not sure if I mentioned that before- Thor took Loki back to Asgard, where they apparently put him in prison. He was there up until a few days ago. Thor decided to bring him back for a visit. And then the whole, you know, the baby blast happened, and then you showed up through that portal.” She exhaled and turned to Jane. “Did I get everything right?”

“It was a great summary,” Jane answered, “but you got one small detail wrong.”

“What’s that?” Pepper asked, frowning.

“Darcy, remember when I went to Asgard?” Jane questioned.

Darcy grinned. “Who could forget that week? Portals, planets, creepy white elf people- it was great.”

“Yeah, great,” Jane muttered. “Getting your body taken over by a weird red rock thing, so much fun.”

“Jane?” Pepper prompted. “You were saying?”

“Oh, right. While I was there, I got a chance to catch up with Thor. He told me some things about his family. Loki isn’t actually from Asgard at all. He’s something called a frost giant, from some other planet with a weird name. It starts with a _y_ or a _j_ or something like that, Erik would know.”

“Why haven’t _I_ known that before now?” Darcy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jane shrugged. “Never came up in conversation?”

“Do the Avengers know?” Pepper wanted to know. “If they do, Tony never mentioned it.”

“I don’t think they know everything,” Jane answered. “They know that he was adopted, but that’s about it.”

“Well, that’s just plain awkward,” Darcy said.

“This future is so complicated,” Peggy groaned. She smoothed back her curly hair. “Well, if he did all of that, then I can understand the Asgardians’ concern about letting him stay here, even if he is a baby. But if all they were planning to do was put him in a cell, then I am glad we distracted them. “

“Wasn’t us,” Jane put in with a smile. “It was the babies who did all the work. Them and twenty-four puppy eyes.”

“They also did all the food throwing,” Darcy replied. “Did you see Clint? He got a French fry stuck in that spiky-haired guy’s topknot. And there’s a plastic pear lodged in the chandelier over the table. That kid has some serious aim.”

“He wasn’t the only one who was making trouble,” Pepper said. “Natasha almost gave the redheaded guy a black eye with a burger.”

“Seriously, she defies all the sweet little girl stereotypes,” Darcy added. “Her puppy eyes were more like a ‘if looks could kill’ kind of thing.”

“But when you combine it with a height of maybe two feet, it’s adorable,” Pepper responded. “We should probably work on her murderous tendencies, but she really is a cute little thing. They all are.”

“Yeah, and we’re still missing the cute little sorcerer- frost giant- would-be dictator,” Jane said. “I don’t think he’s out here. I really hope he didn’t get beamed up in the Bifrost.”

“Yep. Let’s head inside and search the Tower,” Pepper agreed.

Something crashed from inside, followed by several baby yells and a very loud shout from Shuri. “ _Kutheni kukho umvundla apha_?!”

“I have no idea what she just said, but we should probably go check it out,” Jane said, breaking into a run. “Shuri? Is everything okay?”

The four of them rushed into the Tower, where they were met by a chaotic scene. Shuri stood on a chair, wearing some kind of metal gauntlet on her wrist, aiming at the floor. Several of the older babies crawled or toddled frantically around the room, shrieking and squealing. The younger ones were watching the craziness, adding their own screeches to the bedlam.

“Shuri, what in the world?” Jane called. “What’s going on?” She followed the direction of Shuri’s arm, focusing on the source of the confusion.

A tiny black rabbit hopped away from Tony’s grasping hands, its nose twitching.

“Where did that rabbit come from?” Pepper exclaimed. “Tony, leave it alone!”

Darcy darted forward and scooped up the rabbit before Tony could reach it, hugging it to her chest. “Aw, it’s so cute,” she cooed, stroking the rabbit’s soft ears. “It’s just a little baby one. Hi there, little baby bunny! You’re adorable, yes, you are!”

“Yeah, it’s cute, but why is it here?” Pepper said with a frown. “We really don’t need to be looking after a rabbit while we’re trying to find Loki- _oh, no_.” She stared at the baby rabbit in Darcy’s hands.

“What’s wrong, Pep?” Jane asked. “Did you- oh, good grief, Darcy, give that rabbit to me.” Darcy handed the critter over, and Jane examined it thoroughly. “Yep, green eyes,” she confirmed, setting the rabbit down on the table. “Okay, Loki, you can change back now.”

For a long moment, nothing happened. The rabbit stayed still on the table, its ears flicking. Then, slowly, the black fur melted away, forming back into a baby with unmistakable bottle green eyes. Loki stared up at them, blinking.

“What the heck?” Darcy yelped. “Warrior chick wasn’t kidding about the magic.”

“Um, yeah,” Pepper said. “Evidently Wanda’s not the only one with powers left. Is there a way we can get him to stop doing-“

As Peggy reached for the baby, Loki transformed into a black kitten and dove off the table, racing down the hallway.

“That,” Pepper finished, chasing him. “No! Loki, wait! Come back here!”

“Have you noticed that he’s only changing into baby animals?” Jane mused.

“I only noticed the rabbit,” Shuri answered, climbing off her chair. She slid her gauntlet off her arm and put it on the bar. “I’m not sure it warranted me pulling out a taser glove, but oh, well.”

Pepper screamed from somewhere down the hall. “Why are you a baby horse now? Loki, come back!”

“Oh, this is gonna get weird fast,” Darcy muttered.

Pepper came back in, clutching a wiggly black puppy. “Okay, we need to figure out what to do with him,” she said, depositing Loki on the couch.

“I’ll call Scott,” Jane replied, pulling out her phone. “Maybe he can get a playpen or something until Loki stops changing into animals.”

“Taking into account the fact that he’s a snake now, I don’t think that’ll be for a while,” Peggy said, trapping snake-Loki in her cupped hands. “At least he’s a small version of one.”

“I don’t care what size he is, I’m leaving if there’s a snake!” Jane cried. “I’m gonna go buy the normal clothes for the babies. Pepper, call me when Loki’s no longer reptilian.” She darted out of the tower. Peggy transferred Loki to Darcy and followed on her heels.

“Don’t give him to me!” Darcy yelped, dropping the tiny green snake.

“Darcy, careful with the baby!” Pepper called. Loki melted back into his human form, crying bitterly.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, sweetie,” Darcy murmured, picking him up and hugging him. “I didn’t mean to drop you, really, I didn’t. Snakes just scare me, that’s all.” Loki didn’t seem to care about Darcy’s heartfelt apology. He kept up a steady stream of wails, tears streaming down his little face.

Before Darcy could calm him down, Wanda joined in. Then Tony, Sam, and Steve started to cry, until eleven out of twelve babies were in tears.

“I believe naptime might be in order,” Pepper suggested, cradling Bucky and Rhodey. “Everyone’s worn out from that plastic food battle. Let’s put them to sleep for an hour or two, and see what happens when they wake up.”

“I think a nap is a very good idea,” Shuri agreed. “I noticed earlier that T’Challa and a few of the others were getting cranky. I think they are just exhausted.”

They changed the babies into their pajamas again, which was a chore in itself. Thor protested loudly against the idea of taking a nap. He informed Darcy solemnly that he was a prince of Asgard, and therefore should not be forced to go to sleep along with the mortal infants. Darcy was unmoved. “Sorry, buddy,” she said, pulling off Thor’s cape. “Everyone’s gotta take a nap for a while, even the prince of Asgard.”

Nobody knew exactly what Shuri was saying to T’Challa, since it was in their native language, but by the time she finished, he was babbling happily and playing with his sister’s hair. He let her switch his tiny Black Panther outfit for his pajamas without any fuss. Loki, on the other hand, cried all the way through the naptime preparations, up until Pepper put him in bed. As soon as she tucked him in, though, he calmed down, stuffing his toy rabbit’s foot into his mouth.

Natasha, surprisingly, submitted to the idea of a nap. She let Pepper switch her leotard for her sleeper without batting an eyelash. But she wouldn’t let Pepper take off her ballet shoes. She kicked and hit until Pepper finally gave up. “Fine, you can keep the slippers,” she sighed. “Come on, you little rascal.” Naturally, Natasha was perfectly docile on the way to the baby room.

Clint was asleep by the time Darcy brought him into the bathroom to change his clothes. He stayed asleep throughout the entire process, scaring Darcy so much that she called Pepper in to make sure the baby was okay.

Steve was one of the easy ones. He just lay on his back, looking up at Pepper and smiling while she put him in his sleeper. Wanda was _not_ one of the easy ones- she made a roll of toilet paper, a stack of diapers, and herself float before Shuri managed to get her back down to earth.

Tony and Bruce wouldn’t stay in their beds. They kept climbing in to each other’s beds, babbling to each other, until Pepper enlisted Shuri to watch the pair. Sam and Rhodey were mostly easy to deal with, apart from Sam’s attempt to fly off the bathroom sink. Pepper and Darcy chattered to them while they put them in their pajamas, and the two babies “talked” back, giggling at Darcy’s ridiculous faces.

Bucky was one of the more difficult ones. He was restless and fidgety, whining when Pepper started to change his outfit. “Now what’s up with you?” Pepper muttered. She managed to get his shirt off, peering at his arm. “Oh, Bucky,” she sighed. “That rash got worse. We need to take a few of you back to the doctor, huh?” Bucky sneezed in reply and popped his thumb in his mouth, sucking on the metal. Pepper sighed and shook her head. She finished getting Bucky changed and put him to bed, counting to make sure all twelve were asleep or close to it. Then she went back to the living room to help Darcy clean up.

“Pepper!” Shuri called. “Loki turned into a giraffe calf!”

Pepper sighed. “Oh, boy, this magic thing is gonna get old.”

 


	13. 4th of July Special Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The babies and adults celebrate at a fireworks display.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4th of July, y’all!  
> Okay, I’ve got to explain about this one. This is a special, extra chapter written to celebrate the 4th. This chapter doesn’t fit into the set Babyvengers plot line. It’s just to celebrate and not to move the story forward. Also, it’s a little longer than usual, clocking in at around 2400 words.  
> Enjoy the holiday, readers! Now, on to the special chapter of The Babyvengers!!

“Seriously, Peggy?” Jane said with a raised eyebrow. “You actually want him to _wear_ that? In _public?_ Don’t you think that’s kind of…obvious?”

“It’s not that obvious,” Peggy answered. “Do you know how many babies I’ve seen dressed as Captain America? And with it being the 4th of July, it won’t be too noticeable.” She held up a tiny hanger with Steve’s suit dangling from it. “I found it in his closet, and Scott helped me shrink it down to his size.”

Jane examined the red, white, and blue outfit. “It would look pretty cute,” she relented. “Okay, he can wear it. But we should put the rest in normal outfits.”

“Do these count as normal?” Darcy asked, tossing down a pile of patriotically-colored fabric. “Scott brought them by. Patriotic baby outfits. There’s twelve of them, but with Steve wearing that, we only need eleven.”

“Actually, those will help Steve’s outfit blend in,” Peggy realized. “There’ll be six of us, and twelve babies, all dressed in red, white, and blue! It’s perfect!”

And once everyone was dressed, it really was. Natasha had on a sundress with a blue top and a red-and-white striped skirt. A headband covered in glittery silver stars held back her red hair. Tony wore a blue t-shirt with a design that looked like a red, white, and blue tuxedo. Thor had begged Jane to let him wear his cape over his ‘I Heart America’ shirt, and she had finally allowed it. Loki had grudgingly let Jane put him in a red shirt with an eagle on it. Clint wore a white shirt with a bright pattern of fireworks on the front. Shuri had gotten T’Challa into a simple blue shirt with an American flag over the chest. Bucky wore a white shirt printed with a pattern of red and blue stars, and Darcy had added a pair of bright red gloves to hide his metal arm. Rhodey, who had whined to wear his War Machine suit, but lost, had on a red shirt that read ‘USA!’ in blue. Wanda had been delighted with her blue shirt that had an American flag- covered kitten printed on it, red letters over the top spelling out ‘Meowica.’ Sam had gotten a red shirt with an eagle over a flag, and Bruce had a shirt that simply turned him into a flag. And of course, Steve was dressed in his Captain America suit.

Not to be outdone, the adults had found red, white, and blue outfits for themselves. Pepper looked put together as usual in her white pants and blue shirt, paired with a red blazer. She’d curled her strawberry-blonde hair and pinned a small section back with a silver star bobby pin. Jane had on blue jeans and a gray tank top with a large flag printed on it, putting her brown hair into a messy bun secured with a red and blue scrunchie, throwing her backpack over one shoulder. Darcy wore jean shorts, a red top, and a light denim jacket covered in white stars. She clipped a pair of American flag earrings into her ears, leaving her hair loose. Peggy had decided on a bright red dress and glittery white heels, putting a blue headband over her curly hair. Shuri came out of the bathroom grinning, wearing a pair of red pants and a large collection of red, white, and blue bracelets. Her blue shirt featured Uncle Sam- but he was dabbing.

“Shuri!” Pepper exclaimed when she saw it. “You can’t wear that to a fireworks display!”

“Why can’t she?” Scott asked, emerging from the bathroom with a huge smile. His black shirt had a large red and white thumbs up and the words, ‘Red, White, and Rock n’ Roll!’”

Pepper slumped onto the couch. “You two are hopelessly weird.”

 

“Yep!” Shuri agreed, giving Scott a high-five.

It took eighteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds to load all twelve babies into various overly flashy vehicles. Scott took Shuri, T’Challa, Wanda, Loki and Clint in his van, Jane had Peggy, Sam, Bruce and Thor in her car, Pepper took Tony’s black Mustang along with Tony and Rhodey, and Darcy drove Bucky and Natasha in Tony’s hotrod-red Jaguar.

It took another forty-three minutes, fifty-two seconds to drive to the fairgrounds, and then another twenty-two minutes to find a parking space and unload. Scott opened the trunk of his van and revealed two huge plastic wagons that could snap together. They put Bucky, Bruce, Clint, Loki, Natasha, and Rhodey in the first wagon and Steve, Thor, Sam, Wanda, T’Challa, and Thor in the second. Before they got out of the parking lot, though, Thor insisted that he wanted to walk and Bucky started crying. He wouldn’t stop until Jane put him in the same wagon compartment as Steve and took Clint for the other one. Scott volunteered to pull the wagons.

“Whoa,” Darcy said as they walked into the park. “This is a lot bigger than I was expecting.”

“Definitely bigger than what _I_ was expecting,” Peggy replied. Thor decided to run off into the crowd, and Peggy reached out and snagged him neatly by the cape.

“Okay, now I’m glad we let him wear that,” Jane said. “The last thing we need is one of the babies getting lost in here.”

“All right, it’s just about six-thirty,” Pepper declared, checking her watch. “The fireworks show starts at eight-thirty, which gives us an hour and a half before we need to head out to the grass and find a seat. Let’s get dinner first, and then take the rest of the time to walk around and maybe find something fun for the babies. And then, Scott, you can reveal your surprise.”

Scott grinned. “It’s all ready to go,” he promised.

They stopped at one of the food trucks and bought a highly overpriced meal of six hotdogs, three buckets of fries, and two burgers for the older babies. Jane opened her backpack and pulled out six bottles for the younger ones. “I think Bruce and Clint are clear for burgers, as well as this,” she said. “But we should probably stick to just bottles for Steve, Loki, Nat, and Bucky.” She frowned as Pepper ripped off a small piece of burger and handed it to Thor. “Technically, none of them should be eating stuff like this.”

“Jane, even you can’t go health freak on the 4thof July,” Darcy protested. “It’s their first 4th! Let them have their fun.” She scooped up Bucky and started him on his bottle.

Jane sighed. “Fine,” she muttered, reaching over and stealing a handful of Scott’s fries.

Dinner, naturally, had a few bumps in the road. Natasha wanted to try Clint’s burger, Bruce got sick, and Jane barely managed to keep Wanda from being seen by passers-by as she made Loki’s bottle float away from him. But on the whole, it was fairly smooth. They had finished eating and cleaned up the trash by seven fifteen, and it only took five minutes to load the babies back up into the wagons. Thor decided that he wanted to ride this time.

“Aww,” a woman walking past with her husband cooed. “They’re so cute! Are they all yours?” She directed the question to Pepper.

“Oh, no, they’re not all mine,” Pepper answered with a smile. “We’re all friends and decided to bring our babies out for some fun. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” She batted her eyelashes at Scott.

“Of course,” Scott answered without missing a beat.

“Well, all of you should be proud,” the woman declared. “Absolutely precious little things.” She made the mistake of stroking Natasha’s hair. As usual, Natasha was on defensive mode. She clamped down on the woman’s finger with the speed of a striking cobra.

“Oh!” the woman gasped, pulling back her hand.

Pepper put a hand to her mouth, looking shocked. “I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed. “She’s never done that before! Bad girl, Nat!”

The woman smiled tightly. “It’s fine,” she said. “I’m just going to go get something to eat. Lovely talking with you all!” She hurried away.

Pepper sighed. “Tasha, you can’t bite people,” she said, exasperated. “Just for once, can you be a nice baby?”

Natasha stared at her with a look that said, _Are you kidding?_

“Great job playing along, Scott,” Pepper told him. “I think she bought it.”

“Whatever are you talking about, honey bear?” Scott answered, grinning at Pepper. “We just wuv each other so much- ow!” He rubbed his shoulder.

Four stands later, Darcy spotted something. “Oh, look!” she cried. “Funnel cake!” She turned pleading eyes on Jane. “Can we let the babies have some? Just a little?”

Jane hesitated. “It’s really not good for them-“ she started to say.

“Oh, it’s the 4th,” Scott broke in. “Let them try it. Come on, I’ll buy. We’ll get some for us adults, too.”

“Fine,” Jane relented. “We already gave them burgers. I guess we have to get them dessert, as well.”

Scott and Darcy came back triumphant, with seven plates of funnel cake balanced between them. Scott handed plates off to all the adults, and Darcy took a plate and started breaking off small pieces to give the babies. “None for the little ones!” Jane cautioned just in time. “They can’t have solid foods yet!”

Pepper stood next to the strollers, stabbing a plastic fork into her own funnel cake. “Twelve babies on a sugar high,” she remarked. “What could go wrong?”

Ten minutes later, they happened to walk by a shooting game. Pepper, in a sudden show of mischief, paid the vendor to let Natasha and Clint try it out. Scott was stationed behind the two to catch them if they fell off the small stools. The babies scared the daylights out of the poor vendor by getting a perfect score. They ended up making off with a stuffed white tiger for Natasha and a turtle for Clint. Scott took the toys back to the cars, and Pepper decided that it was time to go find a seat on the lawn. They found a good spot where they could see clearly, but where they weren’t too close to the band, parking the wagon train and unloading the babies.

Scott appeared behind them. “Look what I brought,” he said, setting a flashlight down on the grass next to Bruce. “You said he was scared of the dark, so this should help.” Bruce grabbed for it, giggling.

Ten minutes later, the band finished up their last song, and the lead singer stepped to the front of the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Thirty-Fourth Annual Fireworks Show!” he announced. “We’ve got some real big ones to set off tonight, folks. Please turn your attention to the sky, and let the fireworks begin!”

_Boom!_

Red sparks lit up the night sky as a firework went off above the stage. Bruce, Natasha and Tony all screamed in terror (Thor screamed too, but his was for the fun of it.) “Uh-oh,” Pepper said, grabbing Tony. “It’s okay, buddy. It’s just noise.”

“Don’ yike,” Tony sobbed, burying his head in her arms. “Big boom.”

“Yeah, it’s loud,” Pepper told him. “Here, why don’t I do this?” Gently, she covered his ears. “That way, you can see the fireworks, but you don’t have to hear them.” Tony nodded and lay back on her lap, looking up at the explosions of color filling the sky.

Jane did the same thing for Bruce, and Darcy did it for Natasha. But the tiny assassin slowly grew more and more fascinated by the flashes of light, and soon she pushed Darcy’s hands away and watched, pointing happily at the fireworks.

As blue sparks arced across the sky, Pepper looked over at Scott. “Do you want to reveal the surprise now?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Scott grinned. He pulled something from the wagon and removed a growth disc from his pocket. “Cover me.”

Jane pulled the wagon over to shield him as he set the object on the ground and tossed the growth disc onto it.

“Whoa!” Darcy yelped as a plastic tub suddenly appeared on the grass. Scott reached in and pulled out a large white cake. The cake was round, piped with blue and silver stars along the sides. On the top, more frosting formed Captain America’s shield, the center filled in with the words, ‘Happy Birthday, Steve.’

“But he can’t eat it,” Jane pointed out.

Scott shrugged. “It’s the thought that counts.” He pulled out a pile of plastic plates, forks, and a package of napkins and set them on the grass. Grabbing a plastic knife, he said, “Let’s celebrate!”

As fireworks exploded above them, six voices sang out the well-known lyrics:

“Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday, dear Steve,

 

 

Happy birthday to you!” 

* * *

 

“Whew, I’m exhausted!” Pepper exclaimed when they finally got back to the Tower. “That was fun, but I’m ready for bed.”

“Yep,” Darcy agreed, stretching and letting out a yawn. “Let’s get the babies changed and get some sleep.”

“Hey, Pepper?” Jane called. “This was on the porch.” She held up a large brown box. “There’s no sender or anything, just a card.” She tore a blue envelope from the front of the box and handed it to Pepper, taking a knife and slitting open the box. Her mouth dropped open. “Whoa.”

The box was filled to bursting with Captain America- themed baby stuff. There was a teething toy shaped like his shield, a neck pillow in red, white, and blue, a sleeper made to look like Steve’s suit, a tag blanket, and dozens of other objects. “Who sent all this?” Jane wondered, holding up a tiny T-shirt with Steve’s shield printed on it over and over again. “I didn’t know there was so much Cap-themed baby stuff!”

“Read the note, Pep,” Darcy urged. “Maybe there’s a name.”

Pepper ripped open the envelope and pulled out a postcard. “Huh,” she said, looking at the colorful design on the front. “’Love from Tahiti.’”

“Do we know anyone in Tahiti?” Jane asked.

“I don’t think so,” Pepper said, turning the postcard over. “There’s no address on here or anything. It just says, _These are for Steve. Tell him happy birthday for me. Love, P._ ” She looked up. “Who’s P?”

 


	14. Making A Splash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To escape a heatwave, the babies have their first pool party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again, folks! The babies are back!  
> Also, I do need to make something clear: in the 4th of July special chapter, I mentioned a mysterious person, known only as ‘P.’ I didn’t really make it obvious who ‘P’ was, so I’ll come right out and say it- ‘P’ is Agent Phil Coulson. Sorry if that bit left you wondering who ‘P’ was.  
> Anyway, here comes a chapter overflowing with summer fun! The pool the babies go to, btw, is inspired by the two pools I usually visit, blended together.  
> Welcome to chapter fourteen of the Babyvengers!

“It’s so hot,” Darcy moaned.

Only a week after the 4th of July, a heatwave had swept over the city, and everyone was feeling the effects. Even Thor, usually so energetic, had become listless and lethargic.

Pepper, sitting at the table with Loki, pushed back her sweaty hair. “JARVIS, you’re sure you can’t get the Tower any cooler?” she asked.

“ _Unfortunately, no_ ,” JARVIS replied.

Jane was sprawled out on the floor with a pile of babies on top of her. “This is ridiculous,” she huffed. “We’ve searched the Tower for all the fans we can find, we have the AC up to the max, and it’s still hotter than an oven in here!” She pushed Clint away from her face.

“At least the babies aren’t in their suits,” Pepper pointed out. They had finally gotten around to buying normal clothes for the babies to wear (although many of Steve’s were still Captain America-themed, thanks to the mysterious package from ‘P’.)

Shuri and T’Challa seemed to be the only ones not affected by the heat. Shuri was sitting on the floor, pushing T’Challa gently back and forth in a baby swing Scott had brought back along with the clothes. She talked softly to him in their language, which it seemed like he was beginning to understand. He babbled back to her and reached for her swaying braids.

“Shuri, how do you do that?” Jane asked. “You’re completely unfazed by the fact that Avengers Tower is slowly becoming a bakery.”

Shuri laughed. “We’re from Africa, remember?” she answered. “We’re kind of used to heat.”

Peggy stood up and relieved Jane of several babies. She plopped down on an armchair, cuddling them close. “I’ve been in places hotter than this,” she remarked. “But this is pretty miserable.”

“Hey, Jane?” Pepper called, frowning. “What did you say Loki was again?”

“A Frost Giant,” Jane answered from the floor.

“And where are they from?”

“I forget the name, but it’s an ice planet, kind of like Pluto,” Jane replied. “Why?”

Pepper held Loki up. “I don’t think he’s doing so well.”

Jane gently toppled several babies who had been sitting on top of her off and came over to inspect the four-month-old. She took him from Pepper and looked him over. “You’re right,” she said, ruffling his soft, black hair. “It’s not serious, but he is overheating. We need to cool him down.”

Darcy suddenly sat bolt upright. “Let’s go swimming!” she shouted.

“Swimming?” Jane echoed.

“Yeah! It’s a great way to cool us and Loki off, and it’ll give the other babies a chance to be out in public again!” Darcy said, beaming. “Let’s call Scott and see if he can grab some baby swimsuits, and I’ll go grab all of ours.”

“You are aware that the Tower has maybe twelve pools, right?” Pepper remarked.

“Do any of them have water slides?” Darcy questioned.

“No…”

“Then they’re out of the question,” Darcy declared. “Honestly, I can’t believe Tony Stark hasn’t installed a water slide in Avengers Tower yet.”

Pepper looked at Tony. “You know what? Neither can I.”

Scott turned out to be ecstatic about going swimming. He promised to buy twelve baby swimsuits and meet them at the Tower in an hour and a half.

“Wasn’t there a swimsuit in that package Steve got?” Jane asked.

Pepper dug through the box and triumphantly held up a tiny pair of red, white, and blue swim trunks. “ Whoever ’P’ is, they thought of everything,” she commented.

“Make that eleven swimsuits,” Darcy said into the phone. “Two boys, nine girls. No, wait, that’s wrong, switch that around.” She paused. “I’ll ask her.” She looked over at Pepper. “He wants to know if he can bring Cassie to meet the babies.”

“Can I see the phone?” Pepper asked, and Darcy handed it over. Pepper put it to her ear. “Scott? It’s Pepper.”

“Hey, Pepper!” Scott’s voice was as cheerful as usual. “Ever since I told Cassie about the babies, she’s been dying to have a playdate with them. Is it okay if I bring her over to go swimming with us?”

“That would be thirteen kids and six adults, Scott,” Pepper said. “You’re sure that won’t…you know, draw attention?”

“Two for five of us, and three for one of us,” Scott replied. “Sounds pretty normal to me.”

“All right,” Pepper relented. “Bring her along.”

She jerked the phone away from her ear as Scott let out a loud whoop. “Cassie! We’re going swimming with the babies!” he hollered. “We’ll pick up swim outfits and be there soon, Pepper. Bye!”

Pepper shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder who’s more of a kid, him or the babies,” she said.

* * *

 

“I’ll get it!” Darcy yelled as the doorbell rang. She flung it wide open. “Hi, Scott!”

“Hey, Darcy,” Scott answered, grinning. He handed her two large grocery bags. “Baby swimsuits, check.”

Pepper appeared behind Darcy. “Hi, Scott,” she said. “Did Darcy tell you why we suddenly need to go swimming?”

“She said that the babies were too hot,” Scott answered.

“Specifically, Loki’s too hot,” Pepper clarified.

“Poor little guy,” Scott replied. “Oh, this is Cassie, by the way.” He gestured to the little brown-haired girl holding his hand.

Pepper bent down to the girl’s level. “Hi, Cassie, I’m Pepper,” she said. “Do you want to come meet the babies?”

Cassie’s eyes went wide. “Yes, please,” she answered.

“Remember what I told you about these babies, sweetheart?” Scott asked.

Cassie nodded. “They’re special,” she told Pepper in a conspiratorial whisper. “They’re special, and nobody can know about it.”

“That’s right!” Scott praised. “Okay, go have fun!”

It took only a few minutes to change the babies into their swimsuits. Scott had found adorable swim outfits for each one- adorable, at least, until Pepper found Natasha’s. “Really?” she said, holding it up. The one-piece swimsuit was coral pink, harmless enough- if you discounted the black-and-white sharks printed all over it.

Scott shrugged. “She’s a scary assassin baby!” he protested. “It’s perfect.” Once she was in it, Natasha even seemed to like it.

Forty-five minutes later, they found themselves standing in a huge, white-tiled room, armed with a pile of towels and twelve overheated babies. The room was absolutely massive, with loungers all along the edges of the room, a water slide and pool in one corner, a hot tub, a lap pool, a lazy river, and a massive swimming pool in the center.  Surprisingly, it was completely empty. “I may have reserved it,” Pepper said, her eyes glinting. “We’ve got eight hours before it opens to the public again.”

“Pepper, I love you,” Scott declared, stripping off his T-shirt. “Last one in is a rotten egg!”

“Hold the phone!” Pepper yelled, stopping him in his tracks. “Look over there.”

There was a smaller pool to one side- a baby paradise, with shallow water perfect for splashing, a bucket on a pole that poured water down every few seconds, and what looked almost like a playground in the center, water spraying and dripping down every available surface.

“I’ve got a plan,” Pepper said. “We release the oldest eight in there, and two of us adults watch them, since we don’t have a lifeguard in here. Then, two of us take the four youngest, who aren’t old enough to walk, into the shallow end of the big pool and let them splash around. The other two can do whatever they want. And every hour, we switch. Sound like a plan?”

Shuri and Peggy were enlisted to watch the older babies, Jane and Pepper were with the younger ones, and Scott and Darcy ended up with the free time.

“Can Cassie swim, Scott?” Pepper asked.

“Pretty well,” he answered. “What do you want to do, sweetheart? You want to stick with me, or go play with the babies?”

Cassie cocked her head. “Babies,” she declared. Scott ruffled her hair.

“Okay, princess. Go have fun.”

He turned back to the adults. “Hey, Darcy?”

“Yes?”

Scott took off running. “Last one in is a-“

“No, you don’t!” Darcy yelled, chasing him.

Jane sighed as she looked at the younger babies. “Really, Steve and Loki shouldn’t be in the water at all,” she said. “But Loki really needs to get cooled off.”

They took the babies to the shallow end. Pepper slid in first, making sure the water was warm. “What about Bucky’s arm?” she asked.

“I think it’ll be fine,” Jane said, passing Loki to Pepper. Pepper gently let his legs slide under the water, holding on to him with one arm and Natasha with the other. Jane held Steve and Bucky and stepped in.

Loki let out a loud screech, and suddenly ice shot across the pool. “Whoa!” Scott yelled from the deep end, where he and Darcy had been splashing each other.

“Frost Giant, confirmed,” Jane said. “Does he not like it?”

“Actually, I think he likes it a little too much,” Pepper answered. “Look at him.”

Loki was splashing and squealing, trying to slide out of Pepper’s grip to get deeper in the water. He suddenly didn’t look like he was contemplating murder. Suddenly, he looked…happy. Actually, all of the babies looked happy. Thor was jumping up and down as he waited for the bucket to dump another load of water on him. Rhodey and Tony were chasing each other over the playground, while Bruce and Wanda were sitting in the shallows, trying to catch the waves of water. Steve and Bucky were splashing each other, soaking Jane in the process. Natasha hung upside-down off Pepper’s arm, watching the lights overhead reflected on the bottom of the pool. Cassie was playing at the bottom of the slide with Sam and Clint, while T’Challa was sitting at Shuri’s feet, scooping up handfuls of water and showing them to his sister.

They switched positions twice, staying at the pool for a total of three hours and twenty minutes. Natasha was the only one to nearly drown, scaring the daylights out of Scott before he realized that Natasha was faking it. Tony bumped his head again when Rhodey pushed him down the slide, but he didn’t seem affected. Bucky and Steve splashed each other the whole time. After ten minutes in the water, Thor was back to his old self, begging Jane to let him go down the waterslide. (Scott ended up taking him down on his lap.)

The babies weren’t the only ones to have fun. Darcy and Scott had a waterslide race, which Darcy won, but only because Scott sent her flying down the slide and then jumped on himself. Pepper relaxed in the hot tub for a while, and then swam around in the deep end. Jane introduced Marco Polo to the babies old enough to talk. Shuri had one amazing moment when T’Challa, upset that she was watching Thor on the waterslide instead of looking at his twenty-seventh handful of water, pulled on her arm and said his first word, a very clear “Shuri!” Overwhelmed with excitement at T’Challa’s accomplishment, Shuri ran around the entire room, yelling in her language until Scott pushed her into the pool, which calmed her down enough to pull him in after her. Even Peggy showed her playful side, sliding down the waterslide a number of different ways: head first, upside down, backwards…

But, eventually, the fun had to be over. The adults collected soaking, drippy babies and toweled them as dry as possible. Three of them (Clint, Wanda, and Thor) had to be dried off again after deciding that they weren’t finished yet and running back in. Natasha fell asleep on a lounger, and Cassie carried her all the way back to the cars, looking very proud of herself. The ride back to the Tower was quiet- all twelve babies were fast asleep, worn out by the pool party.

The adults changed out of their wet swimsuits first, and then went to work on the babies. Four of them didn’t even wake up when their swim outfits were replaced with normal clothes, and the other eight went to sleep right after. Jane put them all to bed in the baby room. “Easiest naptime ever,” she declared.

“All right, I better get Cassie home,” Scott said, giving his daughter a hug. “If we’re late, her mother will have my head.”

“Bye, babies!” Cassie called, giving the baby room a wave as Scott herded her out the door.

Pepper collapsed on the couch. “Best idea ever, Darcy,” she remarked. “But boy, it wore me out. I could sleep for a week.”

The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Darcy called for the second time that day. “It’s probably Scott and Cassie. They must have forgotten something.” She opened the door.

A tall woman with flowing black hair stood on the doorstep, looking imperiously down her nose.

“Who are _you_?” Darcy blurted.

 


	15. Villain Visit- Hela

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Asgardian visitor arrives at the Tower- but this one has bad intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I’m sorry this is so late. I went on vacation in Denver, and our AirBnb didn’t have strong enough WiFi for me to publish. But I have another chapter ready! I’m going to publish again on Wednesday.

“Who am _I_?” the woman repeated incredulously. “Ugh, mortals. So ignorant.”

 

“Excuse you?” Darcy’s hand flew to her pocket, her fingers tapping against her taser. “Who are you calling ignorant?” 

 

“You, darling,” the woman answered with a smug smile.

 

“You- who do you think you are?” Darcy’s face was starting to redden. 

 

“Hela, Goddess of Death,” the woman answered. “And I’ve come a very long way, so if you wouldn’t mind moving instead of making me go to all the trouble of blasting you into dust, I’d be much obliged.”

 

Darcy immediately stepped in front of the doorway. “Uh-uh. I don’t think so. You’re not getting into this Tower until you tell me exactly what you want- _hey_!” 

 

Hela picked Darcy up by the shoulders and dropped her on the doorstep. “I highly doubt you could stop me,” she said, throwing open the door and flouncing down the hallway into the baby room. “And as for what I want, I’ve come for my brothers- _what in the Nine Realms_?”

 

Darcy jumped up. “Oh, no you don’t! Get away from those babies!”

 

Hela stood staring at the beds full of sleepy babies with a shocked, confused expression on her face. She whirled and pointed at Darcy. “You! Explain this sorcery!”

 

“Sorcery? It’s a taser,” Darcy answered. “And it’s aimed at you right now, so I wouldn’t make any sudden moves.”

 

Hela rolled her eyes. “Mortals,” she muttered. “No, child, I am not referring to your primitive weapon. I am referring to the fact that _my brothers are infants_!” 

 

“What’s going on out here?” Peggy demanded, coming out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel. “Who is this?”

 

“Her name’s Hela, the Goddess of Death, she says that some of the babies are her brothers, and I’m about to tase her,” Darcy informed Peggy.

 

Hela leaned over one of the beds. “How is this possible?” she demanded, scooping up Thor. “You truly are my little brother now, Thor.”

 

“Thor’s your _brother_?” Darcy gasped. “And you’re older than him? I am so confused.”

 

“I don’t care if he’s your brother,” Peggy hissed, withdrawing a pistol from who-knew-where. “Put him down. Now.”

 

Evidently, Hela was a terrible listener. Instead of putting Thor down, she picked Loki up. “And you, the little foundling! You look...absolutely ridiculous. What on Earth did Odin see in you?”

 

“Don’t insult him!” Darcy aimed her taser at Hela’s chest. “Let them go, and I won’t use this.”

 

“Oh, go ahead and use it,” Hela sneered. “I’m a goddess. I doubt your pitiful-“

 

Darcy fired. 

 

Hela looked down at the area where Darcy had hit.

 

“Congratulations, darling, you managed to slightly singe the finest Asgardian leather. Do be more careful, won’t you?”

 

“Ugh!” Darcy actually stomped her foot. “Just- just put them down!”

 

“You’re in no place to give me orders, child,” Hela snapped. “Do not be so foolish as to think that I- _aah_!”

 

Loki had decided that he wanted to go back to bed. Since simply wiggling hadn’t given Hela the hint that she should probably put him down, he had resorted to his favorite measure- his sharp little teeth were clamped firmly on her hand.

 

“You little-“ Hela dropped Thor, thankfully onto the bed, and pried Loki’s jaws off of her. “You bit me!” Her lips slowly curved up into a smile. “I like you, little one.” 

 

Loki was having none of it. He let loose an angry whine, grabbed a strand of Hela’s coal black hair, and pulled with a surprising amount of strength. Hela only laughed. She didn’t even stop laughing when Loki turned himself into a bear cub and tried to scratch her. “Since you can’t talk, I suppose you’re tolerable,” she said. “You, on the other hand-“ she looked down at Thor, who had curled up and gone back to sleep. “You’re insufferable.”

 

Thor jerked himself awake at her voice. His sleepy blue eyes blinked up at her. “Big sissy,” he murmured, pulling at her free hand. 

 

Hela’s green eyes went wide. Dazedly, she leaned down and scooped Thor onto her hip. “He called me big sissy,” she said, her voice slightly less hard. “You know, Odin banished me before I had the chance to meet either one of my younger brothers. I knew Frigga was with child when I was exiled from Asgard, but I never got to see the baby. And Loki- I doubt anyone was expecting him.” She ran her slender hand through Thor’s damp, tangled ponytail. “Don’t you Midgardians have a word for this disgusting emotion that small children seem to bring with them?”

 

Darcy pocketed her taser, and Peggy’s pistol disappeared. “We do have a word,” Darcy answered. “The word is cute.”

 

Ten minutes later, Pepper rushed into the kitchen, panicking because Thor and Loki had vanished from the baby room. Whatever she was expecting to find, it was definitely not the Goddess of Death, with Thor perched on her shoulders and Loki in her arms, listening attentively to Peggy’s detailed explanation of how to properly make a bottle.

* * *

"So, you call this a stroller?" Hela asked. "It is a novel invention. We have no such devices back on Asgard." 

 

Jane and Peggy were taking Thor, Loki, and Hela on a walk through the park. Hela had gradually warmed up to the babies as well as the adults, and seemed greatly interested in caring for her baby brothers. Thor had recognized her immediately and had showed her his most adorable self. Loki, on the other hand, hated her with a seething passion. He had already bitten her four times, once hard enough to draw blood. Strangely enough, Hela seemed more enchanted by that than by any of Thor's antics. 

 

"I cannot believe that these are my brothers," she mused, ruffling Loki's inky black hair and laughing as he growled and tried to bite her a fifth time. "The last time I saw Thor, he was a powerful, lightning-wielding god, and Loki was...actually, he hasn't changed much." 

 

Thor fussed in the stroller, and Hela bent down to him. "What's the matter, baby brother?" she crooned. 

 

"Wanna wawk," Thor declared, kicking his legs. "Want out!"

Hela unbuckled him from the stroller and set him down on the sidewalk. Thor happily ran a few steps and then trotted back to Hela's side. "Woki wawk too?" he asked hopefully. 

 

"Sorry, sweetie," Jane answered. "Loki isn't old enough to walk yet. He's gonna stay in the stroller for now, okay?" 

 

Thor slumped. "Okay." A few minutes later, he skipped off to chase a small flock of pigeons. "Biwdie! Wook, Hewa, biwdie!”

 

"He said my name," Hela breathed. "He _said my name_."

 

"Well, kind of," Darcy remarked. She looked over at Jane. "Uh-oh. I know that look. What science stuff is going through your head?"

 

"Thor remembers Hela," Jane said slowly. "He's happy to see her. But Loki doesn't remember her. Maybe the younger they are, the less they remember."

 

"Oh, no, Loki remembers me," Hela cut in. 

 

"He's bitten you four times," Darcy commented. "I don't think he'd do that if he remembered his big sis."

 

"Well, he would if I tried to kill him and Thor multiple times," Hela answered. 

 

Jane and Darcy fell into a shocked silence. "Please tell me you didn't actually do that," Jane said. 

 

Hela rolled her eyes. "I am the Goddess of Death, after all. I actually came here to try again. But...they're just so darling."

 

"That's just creepy," Darcy declared. "Like, seriously. What kind of twisted, sick person comes to kill babies?"

 

"In my defense, I am a twisted, sick person," Hela said. "Perks of being the ruler of the Underworld. Also, I didn't know they were babies. I came to Earth expecting to kill a hulking blonde thunder god and an irritating master of magic."

 

"Sure, that's better," Jane replied. "Also, great. You just debunked my theory. Fury's going to want some real, tangible evidence soon, and I've got nothing but "Maybe some of them still have their memories, and Loki's still got his magic." Ugh, he'll murder me.”

 

"Who is Fury?" Hela asked.

 

"Tall, dark, creepy, and missing an eye," Darcy answered. 

 

Hela shuddered. "Reminds me of Heimdall, Odin's gatekeeper. Except for the missing eye.”

 

"I've met Heimdall," Jane objected. "He was actually fairly nice."

 

"A man who can watch you anywhere in the Nine Realms at any time?" Hela frowned. "I need to get Loki to show me how to cloak myself from Heimdall's sight."

 

"You have magic, too?" Darcy asked. 

 

"Of course," Hela answered. "So does Thor, although his is a pitifully small amount. A little lightning, a little thunder, a magic hammer- that's all. Mine is mainly related to death, destruction, that sort of thing."

 

"What about Loki?" Darcy pressed. "What kind of magic does he have?"

 

"The more accurate question is what kind of magic he doesn't have," Hela replied with a grin. "He can teleport, cast illusions, cloak himself, shape-shift...he is one of the best sorcerers in all of Asgard, possibly in the Nine Realms. Naturally, he lets it go to his head."

 

"Trust us, we know," Jane said. "He tried to take over Earth two years ago. Summoned an army of aliens to do it with."

 

"I'm surprised he did not succeed," Hela replied.

 

“The Avengers stopped him,” Darcy informed her. “Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow, Hulk, and Hawkeye.”

 

“And they’re babies now,” Hela said flatly.

 

“Yeah, them and six other heroes,” Jane answered. “Well, five heroes, one undecided.” She gestured to Loki.

 

“You know, they make an easy target,” Hela mused. “So small. So helpless. It’d be a simple matter to take your world with them so young.”

 

Jane and Darcy exchanged a look. Hela threw her head back and laughed. “I’m jesting!” she said. “Even _I_ , the Goddess of Death, could never harm such small, innocent little things. My brothers are two of the most adorable creatures I have ever seen.”

 

“You should meet the others,” Jane suggested. “I bet Natasha would love you.”

 

“Who is Natasha?” Hela asked.

 

“Russian assassin baby,” Darcy answered. “She has violent tendencies and an obsession with murder. You two would get along swell.” Jane smacked Darcy’s arm. “Ow! Hey, it’s accurate!”

 

“She’s not wrong.” Hela shrugged. “I think I would like to meet this baby.”

 

“All right, let’s head back then,” Jane said. “Thor, come on! We’re heading home!” 

 

Thor ran back to Hela’s side and pulled at her leg. “Up?” he asked, giving her his sweetest smile.

 

Hela laughed and swept him up in her arms. “Let’s go meet more adorable children, hmm?” she asked, tickling her brother. Thor squealed and giggled.

 

“Wuv you, Hewa,” he whispered.

“So you are Natasha!” Hela lifted the redhead into the air. “You are so tiny!”

 

Natasha kicked Hela’s arm. The goddess didn’t even flinch. “Your hair isn’t the only thing about you that is fiery!” Hela cooed. Natasha put her head on one side and considered her words. She opened her mouth and yelled.

 

“Okay, let’s put her down now,” Peggy said quickly, reaching for the baby. Hela didn’t seem too upset. She waved as Peggy carried Natasha back to the baby room. “She and Loki must be good friends.”

 

Darcy burst out laughing. “Not since he threw a stuffed animal at Clint. They hate each other.”

 

“I think it’s more like Loki hates Clint and Natasha tries to protect him,” Pepper corrected. 

 

“Yeah, that could be it.”

 

“Loki seems to have a talent for making enemies,” Hela said, standing up. “Well, I suppose I should be going. Such a shame that I have to leave these babies behind.” She suddenly perked up. “Would the babies like to meet my puppy? He’s very sweet.”

 

“Uh...” Peggy looked over at Pepper. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

 

Pepper shrugged. “It can’t hurt, I guess.”

 

Hela beamed. “I’ll fetch him.” She dashed out the door. “Fenris! Fenris, darling!”

 

“Wasn’t Fenris...” Darcy started.

 

“A massive wolf,” Jane finished, sinking into a chair. “What did we just do?”

 

 


	16. Dress Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clothes shopping for the babies gets a little bit bumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I am so sorry that I haven’t updated in three weeks. Between starting school and a major case of writers’ block, I haven’t had the time or inspiration. But I’m back, and you can expect chapters quicker from now on.

“This is so cute,” Darcy gushed.

Shuri, Darcy, Jane and Pepper had decided to stock up on baby clothes, leaving Peggy to watch over the babies. Scott and Cassie had shown up at the last minute to help her out. Summer was fading fast, and they were searching for fall and winter-appropriate clothes for the twelve babies. So far, they had found only two outfits.

“You’d think they’d have more options,” Jane remarked, shuffling through a rack of tiny dresses. “What’d you find, Darcy?” Her voice trailed off. “That’s a strawberry costume.”

“I know, but it’s adorable!” Darcy said. “I can just see Natasha in it!”

Pepper burst out laughing. “A deadly Russian assassin in a strawberry costume,” she replied. “That would be hilarious.”

“I think she would throw a fit,” Shuri said. “And Natasha’s fits are…not pleasant. They tend to only stop when someone gets hurt.” She hurried over to Darcy’s side. “However, I have been looking for baby costumes for my brother.”

“Here,” Darcy told her, passing her an outfit. “Shark suit. Classic.”

Shuri grinned. “Darcy, will you take a picture of T’Challa in this?”

“Of course,” Darcy answered. “I’ve got a ton of pictures of the babies on my phone. That way, when we turn them back into adults, we can show them how cute they were.”

Shuri let out a laugh that had a slight hint of evil. “Not for cuteness,” she corrected. “When he turns back into an adult, I want to have something that I can blackmail him with.”

Pepper stared at her. “Your relationship scares me.”

Shuri shrugged. “When your brother is the king of the most powerful nation in the world, what can you do but embarrass him at every possible opportunity? You should see the video I took when I showed him his new suit.”

“Let’s finish getting the clothes first,” Jane broke in. “I thought that they would have more fall-ish stuff already, but…” she held up a little sundress with flamingoes printed all over it. “No such luck.”

“Shuri reminded me of something,” Pepper said. “Jane, how’s the cure coming?”

Jane smiled. “I had a major breakthrough last night. I found out where the beam that turned them into babies came from, and why not all of them still have their powers.”

“Well?” Pepper pressed.

“Turns out, the beam came from almost exactly the center of the Tower. It actually came _from_ the portal that brought Peggy here. It spread outward, like ripples in a pond, turning the heroes into babies. The ones that got hit first were changed into younger ages. So, Steve was probably the first one, and Thor was the last.”

“What about their powers?” Shuri asked.

“That’s the part that seemed random,” Jane replied. “I found out that only four of the babies- Wanda, T’Challa, Thor, and Loki- still had their powers. But Loki is one of the youngest babies, and Wanda, T’Challa and Thor are three of the oldest. It didn’t make sense that the baby beam would just randomly skip over taking their powers.” She lowered her voice. “That’s because it didn’t. There were _two_ beams.”

“How do you know?” Darcy gasped.

Jane shrugged. “Portals, beams, Einstein-Rosenbridges- all of them leave traces. I figured out how to find the traces. Anyway, the first beam de-aged the heroes. The second beam robbed them of their powers. But the beam was only set for humans. It couldn’t take away Thor and Loki’s powers, because they aren’t human.”

“But Wanda and T’Challa are,” Pepper pointed out. “It should have taken away their powers.”

“Actually,” Shuri said, “as king, T’Challa was given the heart-shaped herb. It probably protected him.”

“And Wanda’s powers were able to protect her,” Jane added. “The others- Natasha, Bucky, Steve, Clint, Rhodey, Tony, Bruce, and Sam- weren’t so lucky.”

“But not all of them have powers,” Pepper said. “Steve, and Bucky have serums, and Rhodey and Tony have their suits, but Natasha, Clint, and Sam are just normal.” She frowned. “Normal-ish.”

“The beam reacted to their powers in different ways,” Jane explained. “It took the serum from Steve and Bucky, yes. But did you see Rhodey when we first found him? His suit had been changed to a- well, a baby-fied version. Mjolnir shrunk, and so did Steve’s shield. The beam somehow compensated by taking away their greatest ability. It even changed Thor and Loki’s outfits to baby versions, even though it didn’t take away their powers. The reason Tony’s suit is still normal is because he wasn’t wearing it when the beam struck him.”

“That makes sense,” Pepper said slowly. “Except for one thing. I was in the Tower when it happened, and I’m clearly not a baby. And none of this explains why Peggy was brought into the present.”

“I really don’t have answers for everything yet,” Jane replied. “The research is going very slowly. Especially because I have to send everything I learn to Fury within 24 hours. But, as far as I can tell, the beam targeted only those it recognized as heroes, or, in Loki’s case, a villain. You aren’t a superhero or supervillain, so it didn’t touch you. Although it did steal your shoes.” She sighed. “I still have no clue why the beam brought Peggy back. I think it may have something to do with the fact that Steve was the first one struck by the baby beam. Maybe the portal reacted by anchoring around Peggy’s time or something? I don’t know.”

“Their memories?” Shuri pressed. “Do they still have those?”

“I haven’t had time to test it out yet,” Jane answered. “But Steve and Bucky remembered what the Hydra symbol looked like. And Thor definitely remembered Darcy. Loki remembered Hela, too, because he bit her multiple times. Or maybe he was just being his usual, cranky self.”

Darcy nodded. “Entirely possible.”

Pepper frowned. “Do you know yet who turned the Avengers into babies? Or…why?”

Jane shook her head. “I’m a scientist, not a detective. Once I analyze the remnants of the beam, I may be able to find something. But I’m probably going to have to leave that part up to Fury.” She smoothed her blouse. “Okay, people are starting to give us weird looks, and this store has slim pickings. I say we leave and find another, one with a bigger selection of baby clothes.”

“Can I-“ Shuri started to say.

Pepper sighed. “Yes, Shuri. Buy the strawberry costume.”

* * *

 

“Look at this one!” Jane said, holding up a tiny, red sweater vest. “Can’t you just see Sam in it?”

Pepper laughed. “Red is his color,” she said, dropping it into the cart.

The next two stores they had tried had failed, but the third looked promising. Jane and Pepper were taking care of the boys. So far, they had found two or three outfits for eight out of ten.

A few aisles over, Darcy and Shuri were looking for outfits for the two girls. However, they had only found one so far.

Shuri suddenly let out a cry of triumph. “Look!” she crowed, holding up a small black sweater with red trim on the sleeves and neckline. “It is perfect for Natasha!”

“It is,” Darcy agreed. “I think it’s-oh.”

She trailed off as the princess showed her the front of the sweater. “It is one of the reversible sequin kind,” Shuri pointed out.

“Yeah,” Darcy replied slowly. “Sequins. In the shape of a skull and crossbones.”

“Veto!” Pepper’s voice called from the other aisle.

Shuri sighed and put it back.

Darcy looked through rows of clothes. “Here’s something!” she said, picking up a pink and white dress with an attached denim jacket. “Think Wanda would like it?”

Shuri wordlessly pointed to the dress, which was emblazoned with cats. Darcy took one look and dropped it in the cart.

“Hey!” Jane yelled. “Look at this! Darcy! Shuri!”

They all gathered to see what Jane had discovered.

“Oh, my gosh,” Darcy said, staring at the rack. “We’re buying one for all of them.”

The rack was jam-packed with Avengers themed baby clothes. Pepper picked up an Iron Man hoodie, a small smile on her lips. “If we can find clothes here that’ll work for winter and fall, I’ve got no problem with it,” she said.

Shuri propped her hands on her hips. “I do not see my brother on any of these,” she said. A black shirt hit her in the face. She unfolded the fabric to find a baby-size, long-sleeve shirt printed with Black Panther’s uniform.

“Will that work?” Pepper asked.

Shuri nodded. “It will work. But they got the details of the suit wrong,” she answered. “I should know. I designed it.”

Darcy quickly found a black dress with a silver belt attached. The belt had Black Widow’s signature red hourglass in the middle, and she matched it with a pair of black leggings covered in white spiderwebs.

Jane found a Thor shirt relatively easily, and settled for a simple pair of jeans. Loki turned out to be much harder, but she eventually found a black and green outfit with his gold helmet printed on the front, pairing it with a pair of black pants.

Pepper shook her head when Darcy approached her with a Captain America shirt. “Steve doesn’t need it,” she said. “That box ‘P’ sent had plenty of clothes for him- I think that exact one, actually.” She cocked her head, staring at the rack of baby clothes. “But see if you can find one in Bucky’s size. I don’t see any Winter Soldier stuff here.”

“Here’s a Hawkeye outfit!” Jane called. “Aww. Look at all those little arrows.” She brought it over to the cart. “When are we taking Clint to get his hearing aids? And, while we’re at it, weren’t some of the others due for checkups again?”

Pepper nodded. “I had JARVIS schedule that for tomorrow,” she answered. “Oh, look!” She pounced on a War Machine hoodie. “He and Tony can match.”

“I can’t wait to see what you’re like with your own kids,” Darcy said, a broad grin on her face.

“There’s no Scarlet Witch stuff,” Jane called.

“We found this for her,” Shuri said, holding out the cat dress.

Jane chuckled. “She’s going to go nuts. Have we found anything for Bruce yet?”

“Yeah, there’s an absolute ton of Hulk stuff here,” Pepper answered, escaping Darcy to show Jane. “Now we need to find something for Sam. Got any Falcon clothes over there?”

Shuri waved a red and white shirt at her. “It even has his wings on the back.”

“As long as it’s not a skull and crossbones,” Pepper muttered.

“I actually think Nat would have loved it,” Jane said.

“We don’t need any babies crawling around wearing skulls on their clothes,” Pepper answered. “Why do they even manufacture that kind of stuff?”

“Some parents are weird,” Jane replied. “Some _babies_ are weird.”

The rest of the shopping went smoothly, and in no time at all, they were back at the Tower. Jane propped open the door while Darcy, Shuri, and Pepper carried the shopping bags inside. Pepper flopped onto the couch, Jane started on dinner, and Shuri disappeared entirely.

“Where are Scott and Cassie?” Pepper called.

“They left about twenty minutes ago,” Peggy replied. “I think Scott said he was taking her for ice cream.”

“Aww,” Jane cooed. “He’s so sweet with her. And she seems to really enjoy playing with the babies.”

Peggy nodded. “She was a huge help to me today.” She eyed the three large bags of clothes. “Did they need that many clothes?”

“There was a whole superhero section,” Jane said by way of explanation. “We couldn’t resist.” Shuri appeared next to her and started getting out dishes.

Peggy shook her head, smiling. “I put the babies down for their naps about an hour ago,” she said.

“I’m going to start waking them up.” She vanished down the hallway.

A few minutes later, her surprised voice rang out.

“Why in heaven’s name is T’Challa dressed up as a strawberry?”

 


	17. Announcement

As you’ve probably figured out, this is not a new chapter. I have written the next chapter, which is our first one focusing on one baby in particular. It is so sweet and adorable, with a glorious bit of angst at the end.

And then my computer deleted it. Stupid computer.

So, I’m rewriting the chapter. It’s going to take a little time, as I’m trying to remember what I wrote. I should have it up by Saturday.

Until then, here’s a little hint: The chapter is titled “Witching Hour.” Take that as you will.

(Actually, it’s pretty obvious who the chapter is about. I try to be mysterious, but it fails. Oh, well.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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